#relationship so who knows I may watch it and not want to meddle with it...... but again for when I'm in a better headspace

[lauraneedstochill]

if I see one more post about Aegon “bullying Aemond his entire life”, I will go fucking ballistic, I swear to g—

scratch that, I will actually go ballistic right now. this is the “Aegon doesn’t deserve such a shitty treatment” club and I’m the self-proclaimed CEO. we are about to do some analyzing and reading so BUCKLE UP.

gonna make one thing clear first — Aemond was bullied when he was a child. no one denies that, no excuses can be made for that. I’d only like to note that there wasn’t only one bully. here’s a quick reminder:

now that we successfully counted to three, let’s look over Aegon’s other horrible crimes relationship with Aemond throughout the years.

📍 the night Aemond lost his eye (S1EP7), Rhaenyra suggests he should be “sharply questioned” (she means tortured) so they can learn who told him that her sons were bastards. Viserys, in his perpetual denial, angrily asks Aemond “who spoke these lies” to which he replies that it was Aegon. it is clear that Aemond does that to deflect suspicion from their mother but his words come as a surprise to Aegon.

he’s in a tough spot — Viserys demands the answers “as their king”, not their father (to signify his authority and pressure them into telling the truth). and Alicent screamed in Aegon’s face and slapped him just a minute ago, so he may be less eager to defend her. he can easily lie and say that he overheard some maids gossiping or that he can’t remember where the rumor came from. instead, it takes Aegon about 5 seconds to back Aemond up.

📍 we didn’t get many scenes with young Aegon and Aemond in general, but here’s a short bit people keep overlooking: when Harwin and Criston start fighting, Aemond and Aegon instantly gravitate toward each other. and moreover, Aegon puts a hand over Aemond’s back (which to me is either a protective or a comforting gesture). what a horrible brother, truly.

📍 next we see them all grown up before dinner in S1EP8. I think it’s safe to assume that if Aegon has been bullying Aemond all these years, Aemond wouldn’t want to spend a second in his company. he’s seated between Helaena and Otto, both of whom are dear to him, so Aemond can stay at the table and chat with them. and YET, not only does Aemond voluntarily talks to Aegon, but their conversation seems friendly (you can barely hear it in the show so here’s the enhanced audio). Aemond makes a joke about Aegon’s drinking habits — Aegon quips back — and then, what a shocker! Aemond starts venting his frustrations to Aegon (“Even when the noose is so tight, they expect us to break bread”). nothing would’ve stopped him from venting to Otto but Aemond stays with Aegon. he wouldn’t have done that if there hadn’t been some level of trust between them. he wouldn’t have done that if he hated Aegon’s guts.

📍 at dinner, when Aegon pisses Jace off and the brunet springs to his feet, Aemond stands up too, which forces Jace to act as if nothing happened and come up with a toast. Aegon watches him with a shit-eating grin on his face. it’s the face that screams “I know you won’t dare to act up in front of my brother and my brother has my back”.

when Aemond makes a toast and calls Rhaenyra’s sons “strong”, Aegon raises a cup to that. he can sit this one out — Aemond has his personal vendetta against the boys, and it would be safer for Aegon not to meddle. but what does he do instead? when Luke gets up from the table (clearly intending to go to Aemond), Aegon instantly stands up, comes up to Luke and not just stops him but slams his face into the table right in front of Rhaenyra without thinking twice. and it doesn’t look like Aegon is just messing with him — no, it looks like he wanted to do that for a while. like Aegon finally got his chance to stand up for his brother too. AND he also stops Baela from joining the fight.

📍 S1EP9 is when we get a glimpse of Aemond’s ambitions: he deems himself better than Aegon, he thinks he deserves to be king. but once he finds Aegon and they get into a fight, it turns out that Aegon knows that Aemond is a better choice. he doesn’t want to fight him, he begs Aemond to let him go. and Aemond can do that — Criston has his back to them, so Aemond could’ve pretended that Aegon managed to break free. and even once they caught Aegon, I have no doubt that Aemond could’ve helped him escape. but it seems that, despite his displeasure, Aemond values his family the most. he can’t betray his mother’s trust, and he knows Aegon is the first in line to the throne. Aemond envies him, yes, he may even hate him because of that. but he values his family the most.

📍 as @florisbaratheons noted, during the coronation scene, when Aegon glances at his family, Aemond looks right at him and gives that tiny nod that says “I may hate this and think I am better for the job as king. But I’ve got your back.” I like that Aemond is the one who keeps eye contact in that scene. He could’ve turned away to signal his dissatisfaction with the situation, there wouldn’t have been any consequences for that. But he didn’t.

📍 what I find interesting about S1EP10 is the beginning of Aemond’s dialogue with Luke. that’s the boy Aemond wished to get back at for years and yet, he starts by saying “Did you think that you could just fly about the realm trying to steal my brother’s throne at no cost?”. Aemond could’ve skipped that part — imagine him saying smth along the lines of “Wait, Lord Strong! Don’t you think you and I have other matters to discuss?” (to which Luke answers that he doesn’t want to fight and the conversation goes on). instead, Aemond makes a point to remind Luke: my brother is the king, and I came here on his behalf. you can argue that Aemond doesn’t do it for Aegon specifically but for his family in general. but Aegon is a part of the family, and S1 Aemond has his priorities straight.

📍 as much as I hate comparing the show and the book (these are two different things and should be viewed as such), I’d like to remind you that Aegon was the only one who stood by Aemond’s side after Luke’s death. I wonder why we didn’t get that scene… I guess it’s because it would be kinda hard to call Aegon “the main bully” after he literally throws Aemond a feast. but we do get to see Aegon supporting his brother: in S2EP1 he welcomes Aemond at the small council meeting despite his mother’s protests (“Aemond is my closest blood and my best sword”). and he trusts Aemond wholeheartedly, that much is obvious.

📍 let’s get to the most controversial part — the brothel scene in S2EP3: some people believe Aegon is being a bully at that moment. those people seem to forget one little detail:

it’s been only a few days after the death of Aegon’s son whose murder was a direct result of Aemond’s ruthless actions. does Aemond ever address it? does he express his condolences? does he mayhaps help to catch the killers, being the skilled fighter that he is? the answer is NO.

I do think Aegon’s joke was cruel (I wrote a whole post about it) but that’s all it ever was — a JOKE. the humiliation comes not from the things he says but from the fact that Aemond is found in a vulnerable position and surrounded by a group of strangers while his brother laughs at him. TGC explained it best:

I also love @notbloodraven’s take on that scene:

Aegon lashing out so cruelly at Aemond seems to be an effort in making Aemond feel as badly as he does and blaming him for Jaehaerys without actually saying the words.

would this be the right way to act? no. but there’s no right way to grieve and to cope with the loss — and HIS SON WAS BEHEADED so maybe take 1% of the sympathy you show your favorite character(s) and cut Aegon some slack.

+ other things worth talking about:

📍 @bietrofastimoff23 analyzed S2EP3 beautifully and I can’t help but mention the scene that happens before Aegon goes to the brothel. it’s the moment when Larys suggests that Alicent and Aemond are plotting against Aegon. he isn’t surprised by the idea that his mother can do that — but the second his brother is mentioned, Aegon’s face falls and he shakes his head no. because there is no way Aemond would ever do that to him. and instead of asking for any proof, he asks Larys “who spreads these lies?” and then commands him to “tend to them.” Aegon can ask him to spy on Aemond, to find any dirt on him, find any weaknesses he can use — he does not.

📍 it turns out to be true — Aemond was plotting behind his brother’s back. which is treason btw (I don’t think Criston intended to keep things from Aegon — he probably believed that Aemond would let Aegon in on their plan). and Aegon does have the power to remind Aemond of his place — he can throw him off the council with a snap of his fingers, he can take offense at Aemond’s attempt to publicly humiliate him (their conversation in High Valyrian — Ewan himself calls it a “public execution”). but that’s not what happens: as TGC phrased it, Aemond’s betrayal “breaks a bit of Aegon’s heart off”. an actual bully would’ve immediately pushed back, but Aegon silently sits down and doesn’t argue, he’s so defeated he can’t utter a word. he has the means to be a bully but he doesn’t contemplate it for a second.

📍 I don’t want to talk about S2EP6 because it makes me sick but I will reiterate one thing: never ONCE Aegon made fun of Aemond’s disability or tried to cause him any physical harm. just want to point that out.

there is no moral to this story, I guess. if you managed to read till the very end, thank you. if you still hate Aegon, that’s your opinion and you are allowed to have one — but please, for the love of god, just stop making shit up. no, Aemond was NOT bullied as an adult, absolutely nothing suggests that he was. Aegon was naive to blindly trust him and it backfired on him, that’s the actual story. and if you are so eager to hold Aegon accountable for his mistakes, maybe it’s time for Aemond to take responsibility for his actions too.

+ some of my favorite critical posts about Aegon and Aemond: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x.

P.S. I will not argue with anyone so please don’t waste your time — I consider all my arguments solid and that’s enough for me. if you are thinking of sending me anon hate, pls go take a walk instead, it will do you more good. 🌿

[pilotingdreammsss]

Happy birthday! (Sorry if I'm late.)

I have a writing request if that's okay. You don't have to if you don't want to.

I want Platonic Yandere Dark Cacao Cookie vs Platonic Yandere Pure Vanilla vs Platonic Yandere White Lily with a shy and timid reader.

I just want those three as rivals if that's okay.

Again, you don't have to if you don't want to. I'm just bored.

-❄💗🖋

Hi anon! I don't think I'll do your request justice...! But I'll try anyway... these WILL be headcanons since I don't think writing for so many characters is in my capabilities.

A/N: Don't massacre me. I can't really write PV, which SUCKS cause he's immensely popular at the moment. LOL.

Warnings: Obsessive/possessive behaviour, unhealthy power dynamic, implied violence, yandere behaviour. Continue at your own discretion.

Pure Vanilla Cookie, I feel, would be the lesser involved than the other two in terms of the rivalry. He's less concerned for his rivals and more concerned about you getting caught up in the crossfire. Usherings to the healer's tent, unprecedented check-ups at your home, and borderline stalking ensues.

He's convinced himself it's for your health, but he knows deep inside that he's also keeping tabs on the two others. He knows it's wrong to police your life.

He wouldn't dream of resorting to violence, not unless you're involved at mass. Even then, he remains someone who would rather resolve conflicts through talk. He doesn't like hurting people, but he will if they're hurting you.

His interests at most clash with Dark Cacao Cookie - whilst PV would much rather have you freely roam through life (with his supervision, of course). Dark Cacao Cookie wants you static in the Citadel. The two never resort to violence, at least not in your presence, remaining vaguely civil so as not to scare you away.

Pure Vanilla Cookie is much more tame - but his strange helicopter-like supervision is not entirely unlike him. You chalk it up to protectiveness. He knows you're so soft after all. You haven't the heart to tell him to leave you alone after so long.

"Something felt wrong, so I arrived to check on you, friend."

"Stay weary around Dark Cacao Cookie... I fear he may be a bad influence."

"Your wounds... let me heal them for you."

Dark Cacao Cookie is a different story - the weak have no place in such a dangerous world. When you'd become acquaintances, what first stood out to him was how timid you were. Mild - it was admirable, but her feared that he couldn't protect you as a friend. Left-over anguish from the estrangement of his son had seeped into the cracks of all his relationships.

Dark Cacao Cookie keeps a watchful eye on all your other relationships.

You notice his hold on his sword grow tight as you meddle with Pure Vanilla Cookie and White Lily Cookie. Warnings to stay away from them are frequent, though you shyly wave them away. It angers him a little, as he's convinced that he should be your sole protector.

Because the world will scar you - or so he's convinced. His traits appear as protectiveness, and, in dire situations, they're almost forceful. You admit to him that he scares you a little, and he appears wounded. The behavior is embedded into him so deeply that he doesn't know how to stop... He needs to place himself between you and 'dangerous influences'.

He wants you to stay in the Dark Cacao Kingdom - not entirely in the Citadel - but close enough. He wants to protect you, given danger arises. The Watchers are instructed to keep some eyes on you. You sometimes catch Caramel Arrow Cookie changing her usual routes to pass your home and make sure you're safe. Dark Cacao Cookie doesn't see her as a rival, so you make leisurely small talk sometimes.

Though, when the ancient's unsavory traits arise as topics in conversation, she grows protective. She'd been fed the same rhetoric by the king that you needed to be protected, and that what he did for you and the kingdom was for good.

"White Lily Cookie could be dangerous. You know of her past."

"Feral cream wolves have been spotted at the borders of the markets. I insist to come with you."

"This is to protect you."

White Lily Cookie has different motivations than the other two. Though the other two believe they assert themselves as protectors in your life, she sees you as a source of penitence for her sins. Her immense clinging grows overwhelming at times. She's with you whenever she can be. Though you admittedly enjoy her company, you wish she'd leave you alone some days.

Any signs of abandonment would have her spiral and cling harder than before. Interactions with Pure Vanilla and Dark Cacao Cookie have her on edge.

She's less inclined to violence than Dark Cacao, though more inclined than Pure Vanilla. Despite this, she doesn't want to, in fear that you'll see her as Dark Enchantress Cookie. Her behavior manifests in subtle possessiveness. Grabbing your wrists and hands when you linger with other friends for too long, pulling you away from groups, worried glances when she has to leave...

She, too, is timid. However, she takes the more outspoken role, particularly if you're in peril. She'll speak for you somedays. You're confused about whether to be grateful or if you don't appreciate the gesture.

Conclusively, her guilt drives her actions. Her guilt over the past, the guilt when she harms you, even if by accident. Holding you close lessens the guilt, and when she succeeds as a friend, she feels temporary freedom from it. You have to walk on eggshells around her if you don't wish for her to spiral.

"I'm a good friend, right?..."

"They're pulling you away. Please don't go!..."

"I feel lighter around you."

A/N: Biggg post. I hope I didn't do the request too dirty lol XP. I also have exams, which is why it took so long.

[hanniebaeee]

All this time (#2)

Hyunjin x fem!reader (Chris x fem!reader)

Warnings: Lots of feels, soft soft Hyunjin

Genre: friends to lovers, campus romance, angst, fluff

Summary: Ever since you started dating Chris, you've felt something's off about his best friend, Hyunjin. What you don't see is the years worth of love and pain the poor man is hiding.

a/n: Not part 2, but a different, longer version. I'm sorry this is a mess - it's not perfect, but yeah 🤭

It was just a month into your relationship, and you and Chris fought like an old married couple. And the topic of all your fall outs? Hyunjin.

The guy something against you. And it was severely inconvenient, considering the fact that Hyunjin was Chris's best friend. This meant you had to constantly be around him a lot.

You didn’t know why he hated you so much - storming out of the room the minute you walk in. Or ignoring you completely when you're all hanging out. Even worse when he started snapping at you for the littlest things. And you really wished that Chris would just tell him to stop for once. But your boyfriend did no such thing.

Chris was a wonderful boyfriend, but this was the one place you questioned all your life decisions. Every single time you brought this up, he tried to make Hyunjin look like an angel and it made you even more furious.

“Just let it pass,” Chris said, his hand squeezing your thigh as you sat beside him on the sofa. “He’ll come around.”

“But it’s been months, Chris,” you said, completely frustrated. “It's just getting worse now!”

Chris sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Look, I can’t control Hyunjin, alright? I get that it’s hard, but you’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

“A bigger deal? Are you serious right now?” you hissed, getting off the sofa and glaring at your boyfriend.

“I’m serious,” he snapped, his patience wearing thin. “Just try to understand. He’s been my best friend for years, and he's struggling with things. Just leave him alone.”

You stared at him, stunned.

“So, what? I’m just supposed to put up with it? Let him treat me like that?”

“I don’t know what else to say, okay? Just drop it for now.”

“You know what, forget it.” You muttered, grabbed your stuff and left, slamming the door shut behind you.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Felix asked for the hundredth time, his eyes floating from you to Minho.

You were leaning against the wall on the other side of the room, with a can of coke in your hand while Chris stood beside you, his hand wound around your waist. You clearly didn't want to be here, since you were still mad at him. But Chris insisted that the party would be a great way to unwind.

“Look, there's no other way, ok?” Minho said, eyeing Hyunjin who had now lost count of the number of drinks he'd downed.

“May I remind you that if Chris ever knew, he'd murder all of us?” Lisa added. “I really don't think we should meddle.”

“Babe, whose side are you on?” Minho hissed.

“I get it ok? But what exactly are you trying to do here?” Lisa asked, exasperated.

“You know how he is when he's drunk. We're just setting the stage. He'll do the rest. Trust me.” Minho said.

“Fine.” Felix said, taking a big gulp of his drink and sitting beside Hyunjin.

“You know what to do,” Minho told Lisa, who sighed and nodded.

---

You watched as Lisa danced around with that glass of red wine with a frown on your face. What's with this girl tonight?

And you couldn’t say you were surprised when she “accidentally” spilled the wine on Chris's shirt, giggling as she apologized profusely. Chris groaned, setting his glass down. And you threw Lisa a suspicious look.

“I’ll go clean this up. Be right back,” he said, kissing your temple before disappearing toward the bathroom.

You were trying to wrestle the glass out of Lisa's hand, telling her she's drunk and needs to stop, when Minho appeared, his expression unusually serious. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you replied, finally taking the glass away from Lisa.

“I need a favor. Hyunjin’s completely wasted, and I can’t find Chris anywhere. Can you take him back to his dorm?” Minho asked, and the look on his face told you that he's nervous. “I'll make sure Lisa and Felix get home when Chris gets back. But Hyunjin needs to go now.”

You immediately shook your head.

“No way, Minho. He hates me. He'll just think I'm kidnapping him or something. Chris'll be right back-”

“Look, I know it’s not ideal, but we're all drunk, and he can barely stand. You’re the only one I can ask. Please.”

You sighed looking at Hyunjin who was mumbling something to Felix.

“Fine. But if he puts a toe out of line -”

He grinned as he said, “He won't. I promise.”

Together, you and Minho take Hyunjin to your car.

The drive was quiet at first, but somewhere along the way, Hyunjin started to talk, his words tumbling out in a drunken ramble.

“I know you hate me,” he said, his voice wavering.

You glanced at him and sighed.

“I don’t hate you, Hyunjin.” you said, not really sure if he'd register anything you're saying.

He shook his head. “Yes, you do. Everyone does. Because I’m awful to you. I just…it's so hard…”

You didn’t respond, your chest tightening as you focused on the road.

Hyunjin sniffled, his voice thick with tears.

“You don't understand. It's so hard for me…I love you…I’ve loved you for years.”

You gripped at the steering wheel tightly as those words tumbled out of his mouth. What did he just say?!

“I thought… I thought maybe one day, I’d get the courage to tell you. But then Chris - Chris knew. He knew how I felt, and he still…” Hyunjin’s voice cracked, and he covered his face with his hands, sobbing. “He promised me, he promised....and it killed me…I lost you, him… everything.”

You pulled over because your vision was clouded by tears now. You sat in silence, the only sounds being that of Hyunjin’s soft sniffling. Turning toward him, you reached out, your hand trembling as you placed it over his.

“Hyunjin,” you whispered. “What are you saying?”

He looked at you with tear-streaked cheeks and puffy eyes, his face flushed with his crying and probably a whole lot of alcohol.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.” he whimpered.

You squeezed his hand, your own tears spilling over.

“I don’t hate you, Hyunjin. I never did.” you whispered sadly. “I just didn't know-”

He tried to take deep breaths, holding onto your hand like it was the only thing tethering him to the world.

---

By the time you reached his dorm, Hyunjin was quieter. You helped him inside, guiding him to his bed. He flopped down with a groan, curling up like a cat.

You pulled his blanket over his shoulders. He mumbled something incoherent before dozing off. You sat there for a few minutes, trying to gather your thoughts.

Was any of this true? Had Chris known everything and still pursued you? You couldn't believe it. The Chris you knew was perfect. He was perfect in every way.

Except for the fact that he never took your side when it came to Hyunjin.

Was that…guilt?

Anger simmered beneath your skin, because if any of it were actually true…then you really didn't know your boyfriend at all.

It was well past midnight, the campus eerily quiet under the moonlight. But your heart refused to settle. Hyunjin’s confession echoed in your mind - the pain in his eyes, the vulnerability in his voice - it haunted you.

The betrayal burned in your chest. But first, you needed him - Minho.

You stormed over to his dorm and pounded on the door until it swung open. The look on your face startled Minho, and he took a step back.

“Y/N -” he held his hands up in surrender.

You shoved him back into the room, slamming the door behind you.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Uh… maybe?” Minho blinked, guilt flashing in his eyes.

“Maybe?” you seethed, your voice rising. “Do you have any idea what just happened? Hyunjin -”

Your voice cracked, and you jabbed a finger into his chest.

“What am I supposed to do now, Minho? What the hell am I supposed to do?!” you sat on the edge of his bed, tears starting to fall now.

Minho’s face softened, and felt so guilty.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to hurt or confuse you…but I also couldn't just stand there and watch Hyunjin go down like that.” he said, sitting beside you.

“Chris is also my best friend, Y/N, which is why I didn't say anything all this time. But Hyunjin...” Minho sighed as he took your hand in his. "You don’t see it because he’s too good at hiding it. But I do. And Felix does. Hell, even Lisa does.”

“And Chris,” Minho continued, shaking his head, “He knew, okay? He knew how Hyunjin felt about you since the beginning. We all did. He promised it was just friendship. He kept saying that until one day it wasn't. Like it was nothing. Like it wouldn’t wreck Hyunjin.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” you whispered, wiping your tears with your free hand.

“Hyunjin didn't want you to know. He was totally lost, and he decided being an ass was easier than dealing with his feelings.”

Tears spilled over, and you buried your face into Minho’s shoulder as you cried.

“I liked him so much,” you choked out. “Chris…I really really liked him.”

Minho hesitated, then wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice thick with guilt. “I shouldn’t have interfered. I just… I couldn’t stand the thought of you hating Hyunjin. Not when that guy has loved you for so long. He doesn’t deserve this. And neither do you.”

You sobbed into his shoulder, the weight of everything hitting you all at once. Minho held you tighter, rubbing soothing circles on your back as you cried.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”

You pulled back slightly, wiping your cheeks with trembling fingers. Minho brought you some tissues and you wiped your face sadly.

“I don’t know what to do, Minho,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper.

“I’m really sorry, sweetheart.” he said again.

You nodded weakly, as a bittersweet ache settled deep in your chest.

---

You didn't sleep a blink, and Chris hadn’t called or texted since you left the party. Deep down, you knew why. He knew.

You grabbed your bag, threw on a hoodie, and headed to the campus café. It was still so early, that too a Saturday, so it was so quiet and peaceful. You ordered two cups of coffee, and went on your way towards your destination.

Hyunjin opened the door after your third knock. He stood there, looking like he’d been hit by a train. His hair was a tangled mess, and his eyes - puffy and red-rimmed.

“Y/N?” he rasped, surprised to see you.

You held out the coffee without a word, stepping past him into the room.

Hyunjin blinked, staring at the cup in his hands as if it had appeared magically.

“You… brought me coffee?”

“You look half dead,” you said, setting your own drink on his desk before sinking into his desk chair. “Thought it'd help.”

He gave a weak laugh, sounding a lot self-deprecating.

“Thanks, I guess?”

The room was silent, as you watched him take a sip. Then he set the cup down, his shoulders slumping.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“For what?” you asked.

“For last night,” he admitted, his gaze fixed on the floor. “For unloading all that on you. For making things weird. I shouldn’t have…I suck when I'm drunk, which is why I never go out to drink-”

He trailed off, running a hand through his hair.

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” he continued.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything earlier?” you asked softly.

Hyunjin hesitated, his fingers curling around the edge of his desk.

“Because there was nothing left to say,” he said, looking away. “You’re with Chris now. You're happy and that's all that matters. And I…”

He swallowed hard before saying, “I don’t want you to talk to him about this. Please. Just… leave it alone.”

Your jaw tightened as you sat up, his words igniting a spark of frustration deep in your chest.

“Hyunjin,” you said, your tone sharper than you intended, “Enough.”

He flinched but said nothing. You stood, grabbing your coffee, and said, “I’ll see you later.”

---

You were back at your dorm room, ignoring all the apologies from Felix and Lisa - your best friends - when someone knocked on your door. You weren't in the mood to entertain anyone, but you opened the door to find Chris - his usual warmth replaced by an edge you didn’t recognize.

“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice clipped.

You stepped aside without a word, and he sighed as he stepped in.

Chris turned to face you, running a hand through his hair.

“Are you… avoiding me?” he asked.

“Maybe.”

“Is this about Hyunjin? Minho told me you took him home last night. Did he say something to you?”

“Did he say something? Oh, Chris, he said a lot.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chris asked, his eyes narrowed.

“It means I know.” Your voice was steady, but your hands were trembling. “I know this whole time, you were supporting his actions out of guilt.”

Chris scoffed, throwing his hands up.

“So what? It’s not like he owned you, Y/N. It was a stupid crush. That’s all.”

You straightened, your eyes narrowing.

“Don’t,” you said sharply. “Don’t fucking do that, Christopher.”

“Y/N -”

“No,” you interrupted, your voice rising. “The Chris I knew was kind. He had a pure heart. But this? This isn’t you. This is someone putting down their best friend to justify -”

“I liked you too, ok. What about that? What about my feelings?” Chris bit back, taking a step closer to you, and you could feel his breath against your face.

“Of course you did. But you don’t think that maybe, just maybe, it was wrong to act on them knowing how he felt? For years, Chris! Do you even care what this did to him?”

Chris’s hands clenched into fists.

"I didn't mean for it to happen ok? It just did. I fell in love with you! What was I supposed to do?! I tried to stop feeling things for you, but I couldn't ok? Oh my God are you seriously doing this right now? This is us, Y/N! When did you even start caring about what he thought? You couldn't stop complaining about him like 2 days ago!"

"Chris, do you even hear yourself? You think this is normal?"

“You have no reason for being such a -” He froze, his eyes widening as he stopped himself.

“Say it,” you dared, your voice shaking with hurt. “Go ahead, Chris. Say it.”

“I didn’t mean that,” he murmured, shaking his head, his voice barely audible.

You took a step back, shaking your head.

“This is over,” you said firmly. “You need to leave.”

“Baby, what are you saying?!” Chris said, taking a step towards you. “I’m really sorry, ok? I was selfish, but only because I didn't want to lose-”

“No,” you interrupted. “I’ll accept your apology, but only because I know you're better than this. You're not… this.” Your voice cracked, but you held it together.

Chris’s eyes glistened, and for a moment, he looked like he might fall apart. But then he nodded slowly, swallowing hard because he knew this was beyond repair.

“I’m sorry...Y/N, I love you...I know I was wrong but-,” he whispered. “Sorry...for everything.”

"I'm sorry, Chris." You stepped aside, holding the door open.

“Apologize to Hyunjin,” you said, your tone soft but firm. “Make things right if you ever can.”

Chris hesitated, his gaze lingering on you. Then he nodded again and stepped through the door. As it clicked shut behind him, the tears you’d been holding back finally fell.

Lisa wrapped you in a hug the minute she stepped into your dorm, her arms warm and comforting.

“God, baby stop crying,” she murmured, pulling back to examine your face.

Felix sat on the edge of your bed, his gaze fixed on you.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked softly.

“Nope.” you said, letting Felix pull you into a hug.

“Too bad,” Lisa said, crossing her arms. “Because we’re going to.”

“Why?” you asked, completely tired and drained.

“So that you know that none of this was your fault. And your decision is totally ok.” Felix said, rocking you in his arms gently. “Hyunjin has had feelings for you since we started uni, babe. We're almost done here. He was just worried if your science brain would like an artsy guy like him.”

“Chris was just lucky he shared classes with you.” Lisa said. “But again, Hyunjin was his, best friend. They're literally brothers.”

You sank onto the bed beside Felix, and he ran his fingers through your hair soothingly.

“I feel terrible,” you whispered, staring at the floor. "Chris is a good person..."

“We know it sucks. And we’re here to help you through it, okay? Whatever you need.” Lisa said, with a soft smile.

You nodded weakly, wanting to feel nothing more than Chris's warm and reassuring arms around you. You missed him.

“Chris will be ok, Y/N.” Felix said softly. “And you'll be ok. Everything's gonna be just fine.”

---

Weeks turned into months, and you avoided Chris and Hyunjin like the plague. (You couldn't avoid Minho because he simply didn't allow it.)

And every time you were anywhere in their vicinity, you could feel their eyes on you. Chris’s gaze was heavy with regret and sadness. Hyunjin’s was softer, but it lingered.

When the Christmas holidays approached, you learned that your parents had decided to go on an anniversary trip, so yeah, you weren't going home. Felix and Lisa both offered to stay with you, but you made them leave because somehow, you felt like you could use this time for some self reflection.

Just after Felix and Lisa left, there was another knock on your door. When you opened it, there stood Chris, looking far too vulnerable for someone who had always seemed so composed.

“Hey,” he said softly.

You leaned against the doorframe, unsure what to say. “Hey.”

“I’m heading home for the holidays,” he continued, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “But… I didn’t want to leave without seeing you.”

You nodded, your throat tight. Chris sighed, his breath fogging in the cold air.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. For everything. I didn't mean for it all to end up like this. I swear I didn't mean to hurt him, or you...I was wrong, but I -" He fell silent, like he was struggling to breathe. "Please don't hate me."

"Chris, I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. I admire you. And...it's all in the past. Let's just move on? I don't want you to hurt anymore, please." You said, giving his hand a sad squeeze.

He nodded, looking relieved, but hurt.

"I hope that when I come back, we can still be friends.”

"We can work on that.” you managed to say, giving him a tiny little smile.

He stepped closer, his arms opening hesitantly.

“Can I hug you? One last time?” he asked, and you nodded, letting his arms wrapped around you, warm and strong. For a moment, it was easy to remember the Chris you looked up to, the one who made you laugh and feel so safe.

When he pulled back, his eyes were glassy. “Take care, Y/N.”

“You too, Chris.”

And then he was gone.

Two weeks. That's what you had in your hands. Two weeks of peace and quiet. You spent your mornings reading at the campus café, enjoying the rare moments of solitude. You did some journaling that Lisa wanted you to try. Sometimes you just enjoyed the silence.

On your fourth morning, you stepped into the cafe, brushing off the snow from your coat, and froze.

Sitting at a table by the window was Hyunjin.

He was hunched over a sketchbook, his long fingers gripping a pencil as he worked, the sunlight casting a soft glow over him. His hair fell into his face, but he was completely engrossed in his work.

You debated leaving. But you were obviously too slow because he looked up, and his eyes locked with yours.

For a moment, neither of you moved. Then Hyunjin gave a small smile. Your heart fluttered despite yourself. You smiled too and walked to the counter to order your coffee, while fidgeting with your bracelet.

When your drink was ready, you found yourself walking toward his table.

“Hi,” you said softly, standing beside him.

“Hi,” he replied, his voice just as quiet. He gestured to the seat across from him. “Do you want to sit?”

You hesitated, then nodded, sliding into the chair.

“I didn’t know you were staying here for the holidays,” he said, sipping his coffee.

“My parents are on a trip,” you explained. “What about you?”

He shrugged and said, “Home didn’t feel right this year.”

Your heart clenched at his words and the vulnerability in his tone. “Hyunjin…”

He shook his head quickly, his hand brushing over the cover of his sketchbook.

“Hey, I'm totally fine.” he said, giving you another one of those devastating smiles.

---

What started as a chance encounter in the café soon became a habit. Each morning, you’d find Hyunjin sitting by the window, his sketchbook open, pencil in hand. You’d quietly slip into the seat across from him, coffee in one hand and a book in the other.

The silence between you was so warm and comfortable. You loved watching him draw. He looked so soft and so fragile…you just wanted to give him a hug for all the heartbreak he'd endured because of you.

After spending most of your days like this, you both decided to venture into town to visit a Christmas market. The streets were lined with twinkling lights, and the scent of mulled wine filled the air.

While wandering through a small shop, you spotted a tiny, artificial Christmas tree with delicate branches.

While Hyunjin was in line to get some hot chocolate, you quickly excused yourself and went back to look at the little tree you saw earlier. You'd been meaning to ask him something for a couple of days now. But you were afraid if you're wrong to assume he'd want anything like that.

But before you could second guess yourself, you text him.

You: Hyunjin, do you want to spend Christmas with me?

You cringed at yourself, because seriously? You two were the only ones here for heaven's sake.

Hyunjin: Aren't we doing that?

You: No, not like that.

You: With me. Like get a tree and stuff. You know. Please just say no, if you don't want to. Ok?

You were panicking now. Why did this feel like a good idea at all?

Hyunjin: Where did you run off to?

Hyunjin: We were together this whole time and you text me about this?

You: Hyunjin, just say yes or no.

Hyunjin: Don't I get a say about what tree we're getting?

You nearly cried in relief. No you really did - there were tears in your eyes.

You: No.

Hyunjin: Can I choose the ornaments at least?

You: Ok. You can.

Hyunjin: Where are you, Y/N?

You: Getting our tree? Please just stay there.

You really didn't want him to see you crying. You didn't even know why you were crying.

Hyunjin: Don't you want your hot chocolate?

You: Hyunjin, you're gonna lose your rights on those ornaments now.

You gave yourself a lecture about pulling yourself together, wiped off your tears, hoping that he won't notice your eyes, bought that damn little tree and walked over to where Hyunjin was waiting for you.

You held up the tree, but he saw right through you. You saw his expression shift the moment he saw your face.

“Isn't it cute?” Why was your voice wobbly?!

Hyunjin swallowed looking at the tree, then to you with a smile. One that melted your insides that you wanted to cry again.

“I love it,” He said, and you cleared your throat quickly, taking your cup from him.

You took a sip, the warm drink soothing your throat. You both walked to another little shop and bought some tiny baubles, cute ornaments, and strings of tinsel and fairy lights.

Back at your dorm, you set it up together. From hanging the ornaments, to putting the fairy lights around the tree, Hyunjin’s artistic touch made everything better. And he was laughing. And joking.

You've never seen him do any of that before. And his laugh - the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

When you finally finished, you both stepped back to admire your work.

“It’s kind of sad,” you said, giggling, looking at the tiny tree on the floor.

Hyunjin shook his head and said, “It’s perfect.”

---

You both put together a makeshift Christmas feast as well. With whatever limited resources you had in your dorm that is. Which wasn’t much - some chicken nuggets, instant noodles dressed up with toppings, cookies and some cake you got from the market, and hot chocolate.

But it didn’t matter. Sitting on the floor beside the tree, the soft glow of its lights reflecting in Hyunjin’s eyes and sharing it all with him? It felt like the most special holiday you’d ever had.

After dinner, it was time for gifts, of course. You handed him a neatly wrapped package, your hands trembling slightly. You were so nervous.

When he opened it, his eyes widened as they met yours. It was a beautiful faux leather-bound sketchbook, custom-made with his name engraved on the cover. You'd placed an order for it from an online store the day you saw Hyunjin first in the cafe, sketching. You didn't know any of this would happen, yet you had ordered it on a whim.

“Y/N…” he murmured, running his fingers over the smooth surface.

“I wanted you to have something special,” you said, your cheeks warm. “For all your art.”

He looked up at you, his expression filled with so much emotion it took your breath away.

“Thank you.” he said, and he handed you his gift, a small package wrapped in simple brown paper.

When you peeled back the paper, it was your turn to be shocked. It was a painting - a small canvas - in the center was you. Your face was serene, surrounded by a kaleidoscope of hues.

“Hyunjin…” you whispered, gazing up at him (damn those tears). “This is… it’s beautiful. I don’t even know what to say.”

He smiled, holding the sketch book close to his chest.

“You're beautiful, Y/N.” He said, his eyes falling, shyly.

You smiled, and felt so thankful for the chance to finally see him. The real him.

---

“Thank you for today,” you said softly, standing near the door as Hyunjin got ready to leave.

Hyunjin paused, but quickly smiled and said, “I should be the one thanking you. For letting me spend it with you.”

Before you could overthink it, you stepped closer, your arms tentatively wrapping around his waist. He stiffened just for a second but then his arms came around you, strong and steady, pulling you close. His chin rested lightly against the top of your head, and you melted into him.

It was perfect - warm, safe, and so achingly right.

When you finally stepped back, his eyes searched yours, soft and lingering.

“Goodnight,” he said, his voice a little husky.

“Goodnight, Hyunjin,” you replied.

---

Minho: So, Christmas with Hyunjin, huh 👀

You nearly choked on your coffee.

You: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Minho: Oh, sure. Just that Hyunjin might have spent half the night telling me about your little tree and your “Christmas feast.” I thought he was drunk again. But nope, just smitten.

You: Minho.

Minho: Don’t “Minho” me. I saw photographic evidence of your little party. You’re both glowing. I haven’t seen either of you like this in a long time.

You hesitated, your fingers hovering over the keyboard.

You: I’m scared to death, Minho.

Minho: Of Hyunjin?

You: No. Of this. Of hurting Chris. I can't ever do that to him.

Minho: Y/N, stop.

You: I’m serious. This whole thing feels like a bomb in my hand.

Minho: I get it. Really, I do. But listen. This thing with Hyunjin… it’s not a betrayal. It’s life. People fall in and out of relationships. Chris will be fine, and if he isn’t yet, he will be eventually.

Minho: For now, enjoy the holidays. Take things one step at a time. Whatever this is, it’ll fall into place.

You stared at his messages, your heart still uneasy.

You: I'm still scared.

Minho: That’s because you overthink everything.

You: Maybe.

Minho: Exactly. Let yourself be happy for once. And let me take care of Chris.

---

You stared at the photo on your phone: you and Hyunjin sitting on either side of your tiny (possibly over decorated) Christmas tree, holding up your gifts and grinning like complete idiots. It was simple and perfect.

And also a potentially catastrophic decision.

You took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the storm you were about to unleash, and dropped the photo into your group chat with Felix and Lisa.

You: Merry Christmas from us and our tiny tree 🎄✨

The response was immediate.

Felix: HOLY. SHIT.

Lisa: WHAT?!

Felix: ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW.

Lisa: I AM SCREAMING.

Felix: I KNEW IT.

You: STOP YELLING!

Lisa: DID YOU KISS? BE HONEST.

Your face turned crimson as the messages flooded in.

You: Chill, okay? It’s just a picture.

Lisa: No. It’s EVERYTHING.

Felix: PICTURE = CONFIRMATION.

Lisa: But seriously. Tell us everything. Like, start to finish. Do not leave out a single detail.

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. This was exactly the kind of circus you knew would break out.

You: There’s literally nothing to tell. We had Christmas dinner. Decorated the tree. That’s it.

Felix: Lies.

Lisa: Lies.

Felix: You look so happy babe

Lisa: And Hyunjin looks like he just had the best day of his life!

You stared at their messages, blushing furiously. Because deep down, you know they weren’t wrong.

Lisa: You deserve to be happy. And clearly, Hyunjin makes you happy.

Felix: And let’s not forget - Hyunjin’s been pining for you since the dawn of time. You’re literally making his dream come true right now.

Lisa: Enjoy it, the guy’s literally gone for you!

You couldn’t help but smile, even as your heart still wrestled with the guilt. They weren’t wrong - Hyunjin made you happy in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time.

You: I love you both 😘

Felix: Love you more 😘

Lisa: Love you, now go spend more time with your Picasso and send us updates.

You laughed softly, setting your phone down and looking back at the little tree.

Maybe, just maybe, your friends were right.

---

The roof of your dorm was silent, almost eerily so. A cool breeze kissed your cheeks as you sat cross-legged on a blanket with Hyunjin - sipping on some cheap wine and star gazing (it's pretty cloudy actually).

“This is totally against the rules,” you murmured, glancing nervously toward the roof access door.

Hyunjin laughed softly beside you, and said, “Relax. I’ve done this so many times.”

You gave him a skeptical look, trying not to smile as you said, “Oh, you’re a seasoned criminal now?”

“Something like that,” he teased, his fingers brushing against yours where they rested between you.

You fell into comfortable silence after that. He was sitting so close, bundled up in lots of warm things, yet his presence itself was so warm.

“You ever think about how time flies? Like... a year ago, I never thought I’d be here. With you.” he said softly, almost hesitantly.

You turned to look at him, your heart doing a little flip at the way his soft brown eyes gazed at you.

“I never thought I’d be here either,” you admitted.

“I’m so glad we are.” He smiled, his expression so tender it made your chest ache.

As the final seconds of the year ticked down, you could hear faint cheering from the buildings below. Hyunjin reached over, lacing his fingers through yours. The simple gesture grounded you, because your heart was ready to burst out of your chest and make a run for it.

When the first firework burst in the sky, painting your faces in shades of gold and crimson, you turned to face him. He was already looking at you.

“Happy New Year, Hyunjin,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the crackling fireworks.

Hyunjin gave you a soft smile as he said, “Happy New Year, Y/N.”

And then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, you leaned into each other.

The kiss was gentle at first, his lips brushing yours so softly, like he wasn't really sure you wanted this. But you? You were done waiting. You pressed closer - deepening the kiss, slow and sweet and breathtaking. The fireworks faded into the background as all of your focus narrowed to the feel of Hyunjin’s mouth on yours.

When you finally pulled apart, your faces were still so close, your breaths mingling in the cold night air.

“I'd break a hundred more rules for that,” Hyunjin said softly, cupping your cheek with his free hand.

You laughed, your hands still entwined, your face still impossibly close to his.

“Yeah?”

He chuckled, his gaze dropping to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “Yeah.”

You squeezed his hand, your chest blooming with warmth. “I think I would too.”

---

You woke up the next morning to your phone buzzing continuously. Groggily reaching for it, you blinked at the screen.

A new group chat?

The title? Mr&Mrs Hwang💘”

You frowned, squinting at the participants: Minho, Lisa, Felix, Hyunjin, and... you.

Oh no. These clowns!

Lisa: Good morning lovebirds! 🐦💖

Lisa: Happy New Year!!

Felix: Happy New Year!!!

Minho: So, Hyunjin, how’s the married life? Do you two hold hands all the time?

Lisa: Do you sip from the same coffee cup? Tell me about the kisses?

Felix: If not, FIX IT.

Minho: Can’t wait to give a “Best Man” speech at your wedding.

Your mouth dropped open as you scrolled, the messages getting progressively more ridiculous.

Lisa: Did your tiny tree survive last night 🫣

Minho: I bet it didn't.

Felix: Hyunjin, if you don’t propose next Christmas, we're disowning you.

You groaned, your face heating up as you typed furiously.

You: What the hell is wrong with you all?!

You: STOP. RIGHT. NOW.

Lisa: Oh look, the princess is awake.

Minho: Morning, Mrs. Hwang.

Felix: You were supposed to give us updates you know.

Hyunjin: Good morning! Happy New Year!

Your heart raced as you saw his name pop up.

Minho: Oh good, now we may get some details.

You: I hate all of you.

Minho: Hate 🤔

Lisa: Oh please.

Felix: Are you blushing now baby?

Hyunjin: She totally is.

You: Hyunjin! Don't encourage them!

Felix: Don’t stop, Hyunjin.

You: I’m leaving this chat.

Lisa: NO. YOU STAY.

The first day back at university after the holidays felt like a weight pressing down on your chest. Not just because this was your final semester here on campus. But because you knew that everything was about to change.

Seeing your nervous state, Hyunjin squeezed your hand firmly, and said, “I know this is hard. We don't have to spend time together when we're there. We can figure out how to handle this-”

His words were kind, but there was something in his eyes - the brief flash of hurt he tried to hide behind his smile - like he always tried to put his feelings away for the sake of others.

You couldn’t do that to him. Not again. You pulled him closer, and he gazed at you, soft and uncertain.

“No,” you said firmly. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. I’m proud to be with you, Hyunjin. You make me so damn happy, and I’m not going to hide that.”

For a moment, his expression softened, vulnerability creeping in. And then, he kissed you. It was so soft and so… Hyunjin.

When you pulled away, Hyunjin didn't say anything for a moment, just smiled. But the smile reached his eyes this time, and it made everything feel right again.

“I’m proud to be with you too,” he murmured.

You found yourself walking toward the familiar spot where you and your friends always met. You flew into Felix and Lisa's arms, pulling them into a group hug.

And then there was Minho, giving you a teasing look before hugging you. You all were lost in chatter, when you sensed it. You turned to look and there he was - Chris.

He stood a few feet away, but when his eyes met yours, there was a flicker. A hesitation. He faltered for a moment as his gaze moved between you and Hyunjin. Hyunjin had his arm around you.

The whole group fell silent.

Your heart skipped in your chest, a lump forming in your throat as you stood there, trying to keep your cool.

Chris approached you all slowly, his smile hesitant but polite.

“Hey. Happy New Year,” he said softly, his gaze briefly flicking toward Hyunjin before settling on you.

Lisa, as always, was the first to break the silence.

“Happy New Year, Chris!” she said brightly, flashing him a smile.

Felix, Minho, and Hyunjin quickly followed suit, each offering a warm greeting.

“Happy New Year, Chris. It’s good to see you again.” you said softly, hesitantly.

Chris’s smile, while still cautious, softened.

“You too, Y/N.” His eyes flickered briefly to Hyunjin, who stood there looking calm but with a subtle tension in his jaw. “And you, Hyunjin.”

The moment stretched for a beat longer than necessary, but then, slowly, the group began to ease again.

You couldn’t read Chris completely, but you could tell he was still processing. He wasn’t angry, not in the way you feared. But the hurt was obviously there.

You glanced at Hyunjin, offering him a small, reassuring smile. His fingers brushed your gently. He knew. He understood.

The rest of the day went on like it always did. It wasn’t perfect, but not as bad as you’d imagined. As you and Hyunjin walked back to your dorm, he held you close, and you let out a soft sigh.

For the first time in a while, you felt hopeful. And with Hyunjin by your side, you knew everything would be okay.

Tags: @velvetmoonlght @moonchild9350

[snowyslytherinowl]

Locked in the Staffroom

PAIRING: Severus Snape x (Professor) Reader

SUMMARY: Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall know that Severus Snape and you have hidden feelings for each other. When Snape refuses to acknowledge that you truly reciprocate his feelings, they lock him in the staffroom to force him to finally ask you out.

*GIF isn't mine.

Excited whispers and giggles sound from inside the staffroom. Who in the wizarding world is giggling? Severus thinks before he pushes the door open. No wonder; it’s Dumbledore and Minerva. The two jump away from each other the second Severus walks in. Tea flies into Minerva’s hands, and Dumbledore stares dreamily out the window. 

“Good day, Severus. What brings you here?” Minerva asks after sipping her tea.

He ignores their question and sneers, “What were you two old bats whispering about?”

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle behind his half-moon spectacles. “In truth, Minerva and I were discussing what a lovely couple you and the charming History of Magic professor would make.” Minerva chokes on her tea, clearly unaware that Dumbledore planned to spill the details of their gossip talk. “We know of your deep, burning feelings for her and believe that it would be prudent to act on them.”

Blood rushes to Severus’s face. “I do not have feelings for her,” he spits. Even if he did, he thinks they would be neither deep nor burning. Sitting next to you at every meal, admiring your outfits and eyes, and dreaming of your every waking moment surely doesn’t constitute as that. 

Fine, perhaps he does fancy you just a little bit. 

“One may attempt to conceal their love, but love cannot be concealed in the way one gazes at their beloved,” Dumbledore says dreamily. 

“She looks at you the same way you look at her, lucky for you.” Minerva raises her eyebrows and throws him a knowing, smug smile. “If you weren’t always so engrossed in your work, you’d see it, too.”

Severus rolls his eyes. “I do not appreciate your meddling in my relationships with the other professors. Either way, you are becoming old and delusional.” The other two professors burst out laughing as Severus turns away and pours a cup of tea for himself. He makes a final comment as his back is turned, “Perhaps you bats need better spectacles or charms to improve your sanity.” 

Mere seconds after he takes his first sip, the staffroom door opens. Severus’s eyes shoot up to see who has entered into this embarrassing conversation, and it is none other than you. His gaze immediately lowers back to the tea, and his hair falls around his face to shield the fact that his face is turning an even brighter shade of red. You take note of the tense atmosphere and awkwardly greet, “Hi, everyone.”

Dumbledore and Minerva warmly greet you, while Severus nods in your direction. You blush at Severus’s albeit scarce attention and walk to stand by him at the drink table. 

“Look at the time. It appears that Minerva and I must depart for our daily bird watching. Hogsmeade residents have reported a sighting of the Fiery Frizzle, and it would be an absolute shame to miss witnessing the bird setting a cottage on fire,” Dumbledore declares. Minerva plays along and they stand up to leave the room.

“I didn’t know that you’re into bird watching,” you note as you pour milk into a coffee. 

“They aren’t,” Severus grunts with full knowledge of their true plan. They want to give you two some privacy so he can make some grand gesture demonstrating his love for you. Too bad for them; he plans to leave the staffroom soon after the older professors depart. Regardless of Severus’s comments, the two give him expectant glances before exiting. 

Silence engulfs the staffroom until you say, “I brought essays to grade. You can join me only if you want to, of course.” You smile shyly when he looks at you. 

“Unfortunately, I have duties to attend to,” Severus says and downs his remaining tea in one go despite how it burns his throat. With his hair covering his eyes, he glances at your dress one last time before heading for the door. It’s truly a shame that he doesn’t have more time (the courage, rather) to admire how it shows your curves in all the right places. 

Severus attempts to turn the door handle and discovers that it’s jammed. No matter the spell he casts and how many times he impatiently grunts “alohomora,” the door doesn’t budge. He notices that you’re looking at him, earning a nervous laugh from him. “The door refuses to open. Not surprising, considering I have been telling Dumbledore that it requires repair.”

“Really? I never had an issue with it. Do you need help?” you ask, but still walk over before he can respond. You cast several spells of your own, none of which work to open the door. Severus feels flustered, but whether it’s because of your closeness or his embarrassment at being unable to complete a simple task on his own, he doesn’t know. 

As you attempt to remove the door handle altogether, a realization hits Severus: the door won’t open unless he confesses his feelings or asks you out. His blood boils as he thinks about how that pair of old baboons are probably up in Dumbledore’s office at this very moment, giggling and kicking their feet with excitement like schoolchildren. He can’t wait to get out of here so he can storm into the office and hit them with every jinx and hex he can think of. 

But then again, neither of you can leave unless he makes a move. The staffroom is hardly the place for pouring his heart out or asking you out on a date. Severus supposes that inviting you to the Three Broomsticks is the best option since you might think he’s merely asking you as a friend. Though what is he supposed to do? Lean against the door and nonchalantly say, “Go to the Three Broomsticks with me?” Or magic a flower into existence and pop the question? Merlin, why does this feel more nerve-wracking than taking on a dragon or walking through the Forbidden Forest during a gloomy night? 

He’s snapped to attention when you say, “I don’t think this thing will budge.” 

“Yes, I believe so,” he mutters back. You’re looking up at him through your eyelashes. Ugh, this seems like the best time to ask you on a date. He crosses his arms against his chest, then uncrosses them because it makes him seem closed-off. Then they hang limply against his sides; no, that makes him look weak. Never mind any of this; just say something!

“Er, I want to… I was wondering if perhaps you, er,” he stammers and forces the rest out in a rushed sentence, “WouldliketogototheThreeBroomstickswithme?”

You scrunch your face together. “What?”

Why couldn’t you just hear him the first time? Do you wish to embarrass him? His eyes fix on a point on the ground to avoid the impending look of horror on your face as he clearly enunciates his next sentence. “Do you want to go to the Three Broomsticks with me this Saturday?”

With every ounce of his being, Severus forces himself to look at you. Disgust isn’t written on your face at all. Instead, you’re grinning widely, and your eyes are even brighter than usual. “Yes! Is six okay?”

The muscles of his mouth force his lips into a small smile. “Er, it is,” he replies without thinking if it does. Either way, he’d move around his entire schedule for a mere minute of your time. But then his heart sinks as he realizes that you’ve likely only agreed to accompany him to the Three Broomsticks as an outing between two friends. 

Severus is proven wrong once more when you lean up to him and give him a quick kiss on the cheek! Oh no, he must look like a bashful schoolboy due to his burning cheeks and widening grin. No matter any of that, though, because you kissed his cheek!

“I, er, I shall see you then,” he stammers. You smile and nod in agreement before he reaches for the door handle to leave before he bursts with giddiness. Lo and behold, the door finally opens. 

Unlike what Severus expected, Minerva and Dumbledore are standing at the end of the corridor. Good; he can murder them without having to walk too far! He rushes over to them and upon seeing him, their faces break out into vicious little smirks. 

“I have half a mind to turn you into mice and feed you to snakes!” Severus sneers. 

The two professors look at each other and laugh so hard that Minerva has to put a hand on Dumbledore’s arm to stable herself. “We see that you’ve taken our advice to heart,” Dumbledore says. “Did she agree to your invitation?”

“That is none of your business!” he spits. 

“It appears that she did agree, Albus!” Minerva exclaims. “You can thank us for that later. I rather think that Minerva would be a beautiful middle name for your future baby girl.” 

Severus’s eyes narrow and he advances on the two, but he merely gets close enough to scowl in their faces. “I rather think that name hideous!” he snaps and jerks back to leave the two where they are in the hall.  

But he’s halfway to the stairs when Dumbledore calls back, “Perhaps Albus would be a suitable middle name for a boy!” 

Severus doesn’t respond. Instead, he flicks his wand at a window, smashing it and sending glass flying everywhere. His cloak billows around him as he grumpily climbs the stairs and disappears from sight, but he can’t help but wonder what name would be regal enough for his future child. 

[pookie-mulder]

Feb. 2025 fic roundup

To my surprise, I read a ton this month!

❓🤰 By the Wind Grieved by Karen Rasch

This AU version of Mulder’s return is what we should have had in canon. Watching these two idiots fall back in love and navigate Mulder’s amnesia while trying to figure out what happened to him was absolutely delicious. The author absolutely nailed the characterizations, and M&S acted exactly like I feel like they would in the show!

🧚‍♂️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Tam Lin by Pequod

M&S uncover magic, mythology, and folklore as they travel to Scotland to solve the case of three missing boys.

This fic explores a fascinating question: Can Scully make herself believe if it’s the only thing that can save Mulder? Despite this, it’s relatively lighthearted. I loved the memorable OCs, the sickening (affectionate) UST, and the fact that our agents got the chance to ogle each other in formalwear.

🔮😵‍💫 Way Through the Woods by Pellinor & Rebecca Rusnak

Mulder has been missing for three months, and Scully must follow the clues to find out what happened to him.

I went into this fic expecting more of a survival story, but it’s much more of an angsty psychological thriller. The nonlinear plot and constant flashbacks were confusing at times, but I read this one while sick with a cold, so that could be the reason why I had a hard time with it. I loved it nonetheless and recommend it to anyone who wants to be taken on an existential ride.

⌚️💥 SN 1573 by prufrockslove

(Thanks to @fine-nephrit for reminding me I wanted to read this one lol)

Officially starting a conspiracy that PFL is secretly a wildly successful published author. There’s simply no way this kind of talent goes unrewarded by the universe. PFL, if you’re out there, just know I’m onto you 👀

Anyway, this post-colonization fic HURTS in the best way. What do you do when the world ends, but you’re still here? How do you go on? I love seeing characters pushed to the absolute brink. I love watching them bend until they break. I love watching them put themselves (and each other) back together in the face of abject despair. And BOY HOWDY does this fic deliver.

As always, the world-building and characterization are out of this world. Every detail is so meticulously written that I found myself believing this is exactly what would happen to humanity when there’s almost nobody left. And the flashbacks to Before — UGHHH the contrast between the happy, flirty, sappy beginning of their relationship to the absolute depression of After fills me with shrimp emotions.

💍💒 Proposal by @slippinmickeys

This little fic is one of my favorite MSR proposals ever!! I love an unconventional proposal, and this one definitely delivers. Mulder’s love for his little family gives me yet more shrimp emotions.

“I’m irredeemably in love with the both of you,” his voice cracks. “And I want to bind you to me in every way I possibly can.”

👆 that’s the good stuff right there!

🕯️👻 Beacon by @cecilysass

Lovelorn M&S are caught in a ghost’s curse and must admit their feelings before time runs out.

I love when our two favorite idiots are forced by outside influences to figure out their relationship (this one is along the lines of HTGSC, but with a Hanahaki disease-esque twist). It may take some meddling from a ghost or ghoul, but they get there in the end! This fic is perfect for warming your heart on a cold winter night.

🇺🇸👯‍♀️ An Alluring Indiscretion by beduini and M. Taylor Harrison

This intriguing casefic involves a senator, prostitutes, and doppelgängers. While it’s not the most polished fic I’ve ever read, it’s still very enjoyable, and there’s plenty of MSR to be had.

😷🔥 if the truth forgets about us by @leiascully

Angsty cancer arc smut my beloved!! Somehow, the angst makes the smut that much more intense. I’m in love!

🤕🫂 always in sickness, never in health by @mulderfrl

More cancer arc angst!!! Scully muses on her relationship with Mulder and how she wishes they had more time. It’s heartbreaking in the best way!

👿🛌 No More Demons by Penny Daza

During season 4, M&S decide to (platonically) sleep together — literally. Just for comfort.

I’m not gonna lie to you. This fic is messy as heck. You just have to let go of your adult brain and pretend you’re a 13-year-old again, reading fic on wattpad late into the night. Embrace the mess and just enjoy the ride.

💌💝 My Funny Valentine by @libbytxf

M&S celebrate Valentine’s Day throughout the years. I looove to see the evolution of their relationship from coworkers to friends to “it’s complicated” to lovers. Those USTy years are my favorite!

⛈️🤞 Lucky Stars by @thursdayinspace

Post-Syzygy, M&S want some space apart. Their plans are foiled, and they end up getting closer than ever.

This fic made me all warm and tingly! So precious!

😴🌲 The Dreaming Tree by @slippinmickeys

This fic has become one of my favorite casefics of all time! The premise had me hooked right from the start. It felt like an episode of the show, but better (and sexier).

I love the way it incorporates Native American history (in a much more tactful way than the show did). It’s respectful and informative while still being fantastical and entertaining. Genius!

🧚‍♂️🌳 The Unseelie Court by @slippinmickeys

Another banger of a casefic from slippinmickeys that deals with folklore and fairies. I love how sweeping and cinematic this one feels, especially the more magical scenes. It was so fun to put together the pieces and figure out what’s happening as I read!

❄️🚁 Falling Snow by Snark

Finally, a true wilderness survival fic I haven’t read already!

I would’ve liked some of the threads introduced the beginning to be woven together more. Certain things happen that have little to no impact on the overarching story. Still, once the big things start happening, I enjoyed this fic immensely! The OCs were surprisingly intriguing, and the tension had me reading late into the night.

🌳🦌 Old Growth Forest by Andrea

I very much enjoyed this time travel fic! It’s like a mixture between The Mastodon Diaries and a Wild West AU with plenty of survival elements.

However, I found myself wishing that it covered a longer period of time. There are certain things I was hoping to see, but the book ended before we got there. There were also some missed opportunities for added drama/characterization/internal conflict, but all in all, it was still a great read!

[claudiafrankie]

Pick a Card: Let me Describe You/What You're Going Through

DISCLAIMER: TAROT IS NOT AN EVIDENCE-BASED PRACTICE. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF MAKING YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

Pile 1: The Birds

This pile feels strongly ancestral. I don't know if you connect with your ancestors but they sure as shit want to connect with you lol. I think something in your life is in the process of unfolding and you are doing a really good job of staying objective about it. Not meddling with the outcome, just letting what will be, be. There seems to be a lot of chatter and external opinions flying around you, and your ancestors are like "for the birds" lmao.

For awhile now you have been in a stage of agitation, like when the piece of sand gets caught in an oyster and is transformed into a pearl. I think there's people around you that can sense that this is going on within you, but they might not have the tools to articulate this or approach you in a loving/sincere way about it, with the concern for your well-being/desire to help at the forefront of their intentions.

You could be isolating a lot because you feel this energy. You have become masterful at creating a haze/fog around yourself to conceal and protect yourself. It's like your in the kitchen cooking for company and your guests are breathing down your neck like "When's it going to be ready?? What are you making in there??? Can I see can I see can I see????" Lol I don't think these people have ill intentions they just don't know how to support you right now. I think you might have to take a more direct approach if you want them to lay off, though. I don't see them easing up/giving you your space, so if you want/need that it might be time to say that up front. You are pretty good at evading prying eyes, but you may have to play mama bear for yourself if you need more space than what you're getting.

I think you've been getting a lot of downloads and messages about your path and your healing process. You need to know that to integrate these messages you have to find better ways to rest. Not just literally like sleeping or napping, but things you can do to relax your mind and especially your body. You're kind of in a gestation process. Dealing with that on top of the stress of everyday living (and these birds who can't seem to mind their own business lol) calls for a more serious prioritization of slowing down.

I feel like I need to tell you that meditation doesn't have to be sitting still and breathing. Beach-combing can be meditative, coloring in a coloring book can be meditative, baking brownies can be meditative. I think it would really help you to pick an activity that is simple and slow and just really do it. Feel the pebbles/sand crunch/squeak under your feet, feel the coarse calcium shells, smell the crayons and watch their colors flood a blank page, listen to the egg shells crack on the counter.

I get that you might be dealing with some feelings of fear and/or dread. You aren't really sure what you're transforming into, and what will be left standing in your life once the process is complete. You're not a bad person for changing and leaving things or people behind. I think you are the type to cling to guilt over past relationships and really beat yourself up over mistakes. You are allowed to make mistakes. Once you start giving yourself that grace I think this gestation period will be a lot more bearable. It will still be uncomfortable, but you'll have a greater level of tolerance for discomfort and a stronger skill set for accommodating yourself.

I think you might be called to help guide others who are going through a similar process as well. I think this is not the first time you have moved through a period like this. You have the ability to notice when someone is struggling with changes in their own life and psyche, and the wisdom to be a source of comfort and guidance for them. I think you have encountered unsolicited advice and know how unhelpful and frustrating it can be to be on the receiving end of that, you know how to hold space for people in uncomfortable transition periods and not assert your own opinions/perspectives onto them of what they "should" be doing or what you think would be "good" for them. More than anything you understand how invaluable it is to have someone witness what you're going through and reflect it back to you without judgement. To really see you, and be with you.

Take care pile 1.

Pile 2: The Tower

Woah. This pile feels old old. There is a profoundly detached energy coming through for you guys, very cerebral and heady. It's not cold, but there is a sort of ruthless... neutrality. You see everyone as being on the same level, playing on the same field, fighting for the same things. Just maybe with some different outfits or weapons. This perspective informs your behavior heavily, and I feel like this might be misread by those around you as a disregard for authority, a sense of entitlement, of superiority. When in actuality, you're simply carrying yourself as exactly what you are: a sovereign being with power over your own life. You know that no one gets to tell you who you are, ever.

This kind of self-image and worldview, to many, is radical. Your presence forces people to confront themselves. They see you move through obstacles, pick yourself up, let things bounce right off you, and keep trying. They see your unwavering sense of self, a steady fire burning in a hearth. They are confronted with the reality that they have not cultivated this in themselves, or at least have not attained the level of mastery they perceive in you.

This can go two ways: some look to you as a source of inspiration. Some as competition. This pile is used to people competing with them for no good reason. You may have had people pretend to be friends with you, get close to you, try and siphon off of the glow and warmth of your inner world. You see the pain in people and you easily forgive, you are understanding of the myriad of reasons why people struggle to accept themselves. But you have also learned that, at the end of the day, we either decide to do something about this pain or we don't. And you can't make anyone do anything. There's that radical neutrality. You have faith that everyone is where they are meant to be, and will end up where they are meant to go.

Two of the tarot cards I pulled for you guys were Justice and the Ace of Swords. You guys are both a channel for the truth and the truth itself. The smallest things you do signal to others how you see the world, how you understand your place in it. I forget where I heard this, but there is an idea of "how you do one thing is how you do everything." That's you guys. Your beliefs permeate into everything you do.

I think for a lot of you, your karma could be playing out in the workplace. I think you are supposed to model for people what it means to really do the work, literally and figuratively. You are meticulous and shrewd. I might even say brilliant. You have a sharp mind and the drive to back it up. I get the sense that if you wanted to you could really fuck with people, but you don't. And I think this is for two reasons: I think you have a genuine appreciation and love for people and humanity, and I think you also have a deep understanding of the laws of karma. You understand the seriousness and precariousness of it all. You do not hold this lightly.

Maybe things feel stagnant at work, like they aren't moving, like your efforts go unnoticed or worse, are disregarded. Keep going. Keep trying. Not for anyone but yourself. Because you owe it to yourself to cultivate something that is all yours. Brick by brick, I think you have the potential to build yourself into a seriously successful person. But I don't think you'll be one of those people who has windfalls of luck - unexpected promotions or raises. And if these things do come to you, I see that these speedy promotions will be ultimately reversed. You are here to show people what it means to do it yourself, do it right. And doing it right takes time. But I don't think you need me to tell you that. ;)

Take it easy pile 2.

Pile 3: The Heart

You guys are tired and fed the fuck up is who you are lmao. I think the amount of pressure and frustration you have been encountering in your relationships has been building and building and building. As I'm writing this the time is 5:55, and two of your tarot cards are the five of pentacles and the five of swords. Things are changing for you guys, and it probably feels like, "Finally."

I think you're moving through a period where you have felt powerless when it comes to your relationships. There is a lot of build up of resentment for the people around you. I think you have been trying to stay optimistic, and maybe pushing down the part of you that's like "actually no......... we're not going to be treated like that"

I think there is or was a group of people that made you feel excluded. Your mistakes were magnified and your wins were ignored. You have been made to feel like it's your fault that they don't accept you, framing the dynamics as though you are the one who has to earn their approval. There is a really fucked up weaponizing of abandonment/belonging here. Like the behavior of these people is underhanded and covert, nothing really big happens that you can point to and say "That's what I'm talking about!!! Y'all are giant assholes!" It's all under the surface but it is detectable in so many of your interactions. They have been trying to get you to crack, to contort yourself to meet their expectations, to sacrifice your autonomy and self respect to fit in, just like they have.

I think there is some danger here on your part of swinging to an extreme. With the level of anger and frustration depicted in your cards, I wouldn't be surprised if you are fighting back tooth and nail your impulse to smack a bitch. I would like to tell you that, while honestly this would likely be a valid response in your situation, please do not engage in these types of behavior. Once to retaliate or respond to how you are being treated, it will be twisted. Even though you are the one who has been poked, prodded, and laughed at, if you respond to this - you will be made out to be the bad guy. And I know that that is crazy-making, but it's unfortunately how the world works. Don't give them the satisfaction. Take all that pent up energy and channel it into something for you, don't waste it on these people. They don't deserve it. Let it fuel your work ethic, start a new creative project, learn a new skill, start a side hustle, whip yourself into killer shape. Start your winter arc early, if you will. Let them watch you climb to the top, and then smile at them.

I think yeah you're just in a time of realizing how much of yourself you have set aside to please other people, and how detrimental this is to you and your relationships. You might have been feeling socially "stuck" for a long time. Past hurts have calcified and become like part of your skeletal structure. You've been in so much pain. I'm not sure if you've been keeping what you've been going through to yourself but if you have, it seems like some kind of outlet would be good. Even if you don't have anyone in your life that you feel safe opening up to, or if you can't afford therapy, use your body, journal, scream in a pillow, rage cry, dance it out to bad bitch anthems. This is like heavy and sharp and hot energy and it's just sitting in your solar plexus. You could be lashing out at people who don't deserve it and pushing away potential friends because there's just so much of this pain that you are struggling to express it and move through it. This is human and normal and there is nothing wrong with you!!!!

Best of luck pile 3

[artigas]

as someone who's been deconstructing for 8 years and counting, i clocked pretty quickly why heaven needed to be invented. and, whatever my relationship with faith and the possibility of the afterlife may be (i don't really know where i stand, to be fair, and i'm very at peace with that), i sympathize with the need for a heaven. i wish for one very badly for kind and good people, for people who died young, for people i love, for people who are suffering. i hope there is a heaven, some version of it, for those who did not have their fill of happiness on this earth.

and i thought i knew the utility of hell. like, as an invention. it's good to have a boogey man. it's good for empires and power structures and cruel men to threaten the masses with a proverbial noose. shame and fear of punishment is one hell of a cocktail when you want to keep people under your thumb.

but it really wasn't until i became aware of fascism that i learned that the invention of hell has another utility. that, like heaven, we crave the comfort of knowing that the evil people who we see making this world crueler, shorter, and more brutal will face their just desserts. because, when they're alive, they pay their way out of guilt convictions. they get impeached several times and stay in office. they use their fortunes to attack trans people. they meddle with elections and commit federal crimes and see no consequence. they turn an entire nation into rubble to steal their land while the world watches.

so, there's that, too. we invent hell for people like that. we invent it because we need some sense that there will be justice and accountability in some world, on some plane, if it cannot be our own. and god, i don't know if a hell exists, and i don't know if they'll ever see one. but i also know that there will be cheering in the streets when the news breaks. that news. for each and every one of them. i know that i will go out with my friends, like i did the last time when we won the election, and laugh in the park with strangers, listen to their music, watch their dancing, enjoy the taste of whatever wine we can get a hold of because everyone already bought up all the champagne.

[nabi-unveiled]

So after a fun discussion with @lurkingshan this afternoon about my initial hatred of Chan Young (which really piggybacked a different discussion with @watchthisqqq), I spent a lot of time considering WHY I had felt so strongly about him in episode 1. Because I really did have a visceral, very negative reaction to his character. It had mellowed a LOT by the end of episode 2. By the end of episode 2, I had downgraded my opinions on him to "jerk". After all, he's really just an oblivious teenager.

Before we go further, I should clarify that I use the term "jerk" very lightly and many of my favorite characters are ones I would call "jerks". My brother, who I have a very close relationship with, calls me a jerk on the regular. I realized this evening that other people may mean something different by this term or use it more carefully.

I typically use it with characters that are somewhat rude/blunt and inconsiderate of the feelings of those around them but that are not particularly malicious or mean. Many times a lack of awareness IS part of the problem. That's definitely why my brother uses it for me. He learned long ago that I wouldn't realize I had hurt his feelings if he didn't say something. Similar to how Ho-Sik is using it here, the term is much more lighthearted and friendly judgment than say "asshole" for me. Language really is a tricky beast sometimes.

For me a lot of my continued classification of Chan Young as "a jerk" came down to how he was talking about the girls he was dating, him "ghosting" them, and how he was interacting with/treating Ho-Sik.

It had nothing to do with Hee Su by the end of episode 2. I also realized that I hadn't pointed out that Hee Su has a lot of those same traits. I did say in my episode 2 post that he does a lot of the same things as Chan Young, but I hadn't been explicitly clear. He's going to cause a lot of unintentional harm with his meddling. I haven't watched ep 3 yet, but you know it's going to happen.

But now I started questioning --- what was going on in episode 1? Why did I hate Chan Young in that episode? I knew there was a lot of personal projection going on. The situation reminded me a lot of something (and a person) from my teenage years. But that was a long time ago...could it really explain having THIS strong a reaction? Probably not. It's not like I have much of a reaction at all if I think about that situation today. I've also seen the impacts of the Chan Youngs in the world when I used to work with teenagers. But I always cut them a break when I worked with them. Again - they're teenagers. Growing up and learning who you are (or who you want to be) isn't easy. I did initially think that Chan Young was playing Hee Su. Was that the real problem? I wasn't sure. (Note: That thought definitely changed during episode 2.)

So I did what I always do when I can't process things properly -> I reached out to my brother. He doesn't generally watch BL, but he knows me well. I told him I had a character conundrum, and I needed help. I didn't tell him WHICH character or even what the conundrum was, because that felt like it would introduce bias. After watching episode 1, he called me back.

Him: "It's the tennis dude isn't it? You hate him, but you know you shouldn't hate him. And now you feel guilty about hating him."

Me: "God, you really do know me too well."

Him: "Ehhh. All I can say is don't worry about it. He's a jerk, but you'll end up loving him unless the writing is dumb. After all, he's your husband."

Me: .....

And now I get to process THAT all night, because....he's right in some ways. I WOULD'VE hated my husband as a teenager. We've both agreed that it was a good thing we didn't meet until a few years later. He wouldn't have liked me then either.

So I still couldn't tell you exactly why I disliked Chan Young so much in episode 1. But it's been a fun personal exploration nonetheless.

I expect my feelings will continue to mellow. They normally do the longer I sit with a character and process things. Faifa/Yotha's mom in Perfect 10 Liners being the exception. I'm still hiring a hit on her.

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers: 1x05 The Duke and I

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

It's episode five! Things are getting spicy! ;) While there's not a ton in this episode, there are some BIG developments...

Tomatoes

Alright, so I should mention before we get too into this scene, that it kicks off with mentioning the money issues the Featheringtons are about to have. It's part of the reason Portia is gonna push Marina marrying Colin so hard. Having a wealthy Bridgerton in her pocket kills two birds with one stone.

Alright, so this is day who knows how long of this courtship has been going on, and after the events of last episode, Penelope is no longer thinking this whole thing is cute or tolerable anymore. It's a combination of -- she's fucking with the man I love and the man I love is being fucked with, which are two different things. Yes, she is protective of her feelings and has no desire to watch Colin be with someone else. But she's also very protective of Colin in general - because they do have a relationship. It may not be romantic, but there are mutual feelings of friendship, and she sincerely does not like that Marina is manipulating him.

But of course - the look on her face here is pure jealousy. Because Colin is bringing flowers to Marina every day. And Marina doesn't really care all that much, but oh, how Penelope would love to be courted, love to be romanced, love to have the attention of any one showering her gifts and compliments. But the fact that it's not just some guy that she could live vicariously through Marina with, it's Colin, which makes it intolerable.

Meanwhile, oh Colin, lost in his own fantasies. He loves playing this role of romantic hero. He brings in flowers every time for Marina -- because it's a way to show he cares about her. It's also, probably, proper gentlemanly contact to bring gifts during a courtship. But it's also interesting -- that the whole reason this tomato discourse kicks off is that he wants to surprise her, be unpredictable, make himself stand out when it comes to the courtship.

Also, I'm really entertained by the thought that a bushel of tomatoes would be used as a courtship device. Nothing says romance quite like the tomato. (As much as I'm being cheeky about it, I do love a bit of spontaneity and absurdity in a relationship, so I do approve of Colin's ridiculousness here.)

I LOVE the tomato discourse. I love it.

I love that Penelope can't even help herself by injecting her comments. She is gonna meddle, but it's going to be on a simpler level to start with. Just a throwaway comment that really doesn't raise eyebrows (at first) that Marina doesn't like tomatoes. Which undermines the act that Marina is throwing at Colin (and Pen so notes this -- and, honestly, she's probably a bit amused that Colin picked something that Marina probably does actively hate).

Then, of course, after Marina kind of brushes that comment off, Pen digs in a little more -- suggesting the best place to go get tomatoes is... Greece. (My god, this cracks me up every time -- is Greece known for it's tomatoes??) And I love that she says this with a smile, playing it off as if she were just trying to be helpful. Then she suggests Colin bring her back a bunch (because I'm sure they'd survive the trip) after he gets back from Greece. Oohh, Pen, it's a longshot stall tactic, but if she can just put this courtship on delay...

It's fascinating watching Marina in this moment. She KNOWS that Penelope is up to meddling. She knows that she's intentionally trying to stop things from progressing forward, but the interesting thing is that she doesn't know why Pen is doing it. I mean, I kind of think it's obvious, but Marina, at this point, has begun to trust Penelope as a friend -- so it just comes off as her being super weird.

Colin, meanwhile, is a bit baffled by Penelope. He doesn't really catch on that she's meddling -- thinks, more so, that she's being a little obtuse, and that is not catching on that he'd rather see how things work out with Marina. But...

There are a couple of interesting dynamics going on in this last little bit.

First of all, the comfort in which Pen and Colin speak to each other says a lot. There's no formality between them. They speak with each other at ease, in the way siblings would talk with each other. Colin, no doubt, probably does think of Pen a bit like Eloise in this moment. He even calls her Pen, here, which is kind of unusual when you think about it, because they're at her house and not his. And the way he kind of dismissively states he's unsure of his travel plans -- it's said, almost irritatingly, in the way you'd want to tell your younger sibling to bugger off, I'm trying to hook up with this girl...

When Pen brings up his travel plans, she mentions that he's always been interested in travel. And while this is a calculated thought - a way to re-inspire desires that he has probably for sure talked about at great length when she's been over to visit Eloise -- I think there's some sincerity here, too. I think she can recognize a desire to go out and see the world, and the idea of him closing the door on that opportunity -- especially for Marina, who is manipulating a relationship with him, and will saddle him with fatherhood at such a young age really does get to her.

Which is why it's more complex than -- I have a crush on a boy, if I get him out of the country, he won't hook up with the pregnant lady and be stuck with her.

Colin then has a line that REALLY sticks out to me. :: 'Were I to go, there are things in London I'd miss more than seeing the world.'

This line hits a little harder when you sit down and think about it. I don't doubt that Colin has an adventurous spirit -- more so than either of his older brothers. But I think also, unlike them (well, Benedict is going to go about it another way) Colin is searching for something. He isn't sure what, but travel seems to be an opportunity to find out.

Marina is a purpose. She's a reason to stay. She's a reason to do the things that his heart really desires to do. She's a person to protect. A person to start a family with. A person whom he does want to figure out his sexual desires with. A person who will let him satisfy the role he thinks he's supposed to have in society. And if that person is right there - then why travel in the first place? He doesn't need to search for something that is right there.

The fascinating thing is that it is better for Colin that he does end up going. He kind of needs those experiences to gain new outlooks on life, to clear his head, to be at peace with himself, and to understand what really missing something when he's away is. And, of course, because he'll find that he'll get to fall in love in a deeper way while he's gone (of course - through his correspondence with Penelope).

And, of course, i can't help but go back to thoughts on The Odyssey -- which is one of the myths embedded in Pen and Colin's story -- the story of a world weary soldier just trying to get back home to his wife... Penelope.

Colin thinks he understands what he's saying when he says that line. But he doesn't truly get. And won't ever if he choses a path with Marina - one that is doomed to be a (possibly) unfulfilled life.

It's always so funny to me when TV characters have private conversations literally two feet away from people who shouldn't hear it, lol.

Pen is probably well aware that the childish meddling she's doing isn't really working, so she goes to appeal to her mother. She points out that Colin is young, yes, but she tries to appeal to her mother's sense of logic. She points out that there may not be enough time to get them married since Colin is young and may not be ready for marriage. Portia considers, but does have her own plans...

Ug, poor Pen, the pining does get me. It'll be alright, girl...

A Plan...

If there's one thing you can say about Marina, it's that she knows how to play this game, and how to do it well so that she can get what she needs. Is it manipulation? Yes. Is she doing it out of self preservation? Absolutely.

She completely plays Portia here (Portia, isn't necessarily stupid, either, but is trying to be calculating in her own right). Marina appeals to Portia's sense of status -- and her desire and need to maintain that status. So Marina basically cuts her a deal. Let me go after Colin, and I'll repay you by letting you stay in your good standing with the Ton. And so the two of them forge an alliance.

But, ah, all this talk of seduction and manipulation -- that's breaking Penelope's heart as she hears it. It's bad enough that the guy she loves is interested in someone else. She has always known or felt that she'd lose Colin some day to another woman. But to lose him to people who do not have his best interest at heart? It's devastating.

But still... she does not go first to her best line of defense, Lady Whistledown... that's the last possible card she'll play.

A Wedding

This is, like, the saddest wedding ever. Man, they look miserable.

Colin seems fine about it. He smiles a bit because it's Daphne, and she's getting married. But not a whole lot of insight to pull out here. He's so detached from this plot line, lol.

A Proposal

So, right before we jump into the Pen and Marina stuff, Cressida approaches Daphne and basically says -- I hope some day you'll pay me to keep quit about the shit I saw in the garden. Like, the girl had a blackmailing mindset even here. I mean, obviously Season 3 didn't come out of nowhere, but it is interesting the seeds they did place for things so early on.

Anyway... Penelope's back to her meddling -- this time trying to get Marina interested in ANYONE else. And I mean, Pen's got a good eye. She's watched all of these people, and I trust that she's attempting to set Marina up with a good (enough) match.

After Marina becomes stubborn about Colin, Penelope opens up. While she's not entirely truthful, she is very open and does lay a lot of it on the line. She admits she does care for Colin. She admits that she just cannot stand back and watch him be manipulated into a life that he didn't sign up for. While she is holding back on the extent of her romantic feelings, she is being emotionally vulnerable, in a way to get Marina to empathize with her. I mean, she is being sincere, and cutting a lot of the mind games crap she had been doing. But she's hoping that a more open approach will help change Marina's mind.

Of course - Marina is out to win. She sees no other options, and she does throw some of it back in Penelope's face. She knows that Colin is a sure thing, and that she'll be treated right. She is not going to lose that chance - because the alternative are the Rutledges of the world. And she just can't take that chance.

It's kind of funny that she still doesn't get how invested Penelope is in this, but she is giving Pen her own moment of emotional vulnerability. She is running out of time, and she will do what she can to secure a good future for herself, and however Penelope feels about it, doesn't really matter because it's ultimately not about her. (And, you know, she isn't wrong, even though we may side with Pen on this one.)

We also learn that Rudledge is engaged and off the market (darn) so Portia tells Marina she'd better get working on Colin... there is a time limit after all.

Before we get to Colin though... we have this brief moment between Pen and Eloise. They've had their fight, and now it's awkward. Neither really quite knowing what to say. But it'll be alright... They always find their way back to each other. But no time for that now! Other plotlines to get to! lol

Poor Pen, no where to hide in this brightly lit, very white room. She can't hide from Eloise. And she can't hide from Marina and Colin. It's just a lot... Just a lot to witness, and she can't do anything about it.

Not at the moment anyway...

The reason the earlier episodes showed Pen and Marina getting along well is to establish the respect Pen has for Marina and vice versa. But this is the turning point. Because Pen had tried to be open about her feelings and Marina was just not playing that game.

Oh, there is some anger in Penelope's eyes. You do not fuck with Colin. You just don't. Penelope would help her with any, every other man in all of England. Just not hers. Pen could accept if Marina truly loved Colin, she probably would let him go.

But the 'act' is going into full swing now, and Pen just cannot with it. She just cannot with how Marina is going to completely manipulate the situation. And even though Pen doesn't get to see what we're about to -- she knows what's happening. Unfortunately, poor Colin can't.

So, what is the FIRST thing Marina do? She needs to get them alone, so she pretends she's not feeling well. And I mean, she gets him. She so gets him. His protector/hero complex is activated and he quickly is not only concerned, but gets her out of there.

And oofff, this next scene is almost hard to watch, because every beat of it on Marina's end is calculated. It's masterful really.

Oh, poor Pen, having a moment for herself of sadness.

But I also just thought of something... had Marina chosen anyone else, she could have really helped Marina. The Lady Whistledown of it all could have helped her. Penelope watches everything, she knows things, and she could have helped Marina in snagging any other man at that party. Of course, she was never going to give up her identity, but it's kind of interesting to think of the what ifs...

Oh man, Marina's smug look when they enter the study. She isn't even trying to hide it.

Colin. You are such a dumbass. (Said with all the love, cause I do love his dumb ass.)

It's funny, Colin is such an interesting study because he's got such a duality about him. Social decorum is something he thinks about (and will very much so in this scene), but he also isn't really one to play by the rules.

In this instance, though, it's his youthful inexperience and naivety that is his down fall. Does he want to be alone with Marina? Yes. But does he sense that she's setting this up so they can be alone? Not even in the slightest. He's still in protector mode. Even the scandalous shutting of the door is about her comfort, not about what she's trying to get.

He may be a little slower, but he's not a complete idiot, and when he takes a moment to asses that she's fine, he gets it. And the wheels start turning. And yeah, he does want to hook up with her. His little grin at his fortune says that.

Marina, however, just has zero time for the drawn out romance Colin has playing in his head. She is direct and gets right to the point. And I love that there's a little moment of freak out that crosses his face. Sure, he wants to hook up -- but he clearly never has before, because the minute she moves forward he does have a sheer moment of panic before he regains himself. He wants her. But he has no idea what he's doing.

And then we get this. This almost kiss. And there's just... a lot to this little moment. A lot.

Because I think it speaks to Colin's fantastical idea of what romance is vs the reality of it when it's staring him in his face.

I do think, yes, base line, he wants to kiss her -- among other things. And I do kind of wonder if he even has kissed anyone at this point, because he's kind of acting as if he's in this place where it just feels... not right. And, not even coming from the societal pressure (which I'll get to in a second) but from a place where -- he has all of these romantic little fantasy of what this moment should be like, and having a rushed moment in the study the way Anthony probably would do it, is not really Colin. Or.. this youthful version of Colin who doesn't have the experience.

I have to wonder if this younger Colin has all these fantasies about kissing his wife for the first time at their wedding and the magical moments he know does happen afterwards. And I think that's why I do think it's a good thing all of this happens because it does end up smashing his idyllic version of romance to allow him to be open to what real romance is -- not the ideas he's made up in his head, but what is really there.

(And I mean, I guess I'll get into it maybe later? I do have headcanons for Colin -- such as his first time with a woman was probably bought and paid for at a brothel. That after this whole Marina thing kind of sours him on love for a while, it pushes him to go out and get some experiences. It allows him to understand the world a bit better - so when he finally does see Penelope, he'll understand it better.)

So he stops the kiss. And Marina, who is savvy as fuck for navigating all of this so quickly, doesn't push him. She's gonna seduce him, but she'll do so on his terms. And appealing to his greater sense of romanticism and honor. Which really works in her favor, ultimately.

Colin can barely believe he's stopping - because he probably is a bit overwhelmed by whatever body reaction is probably happening in that moment. He still considers himself a gentleman who does things in a proper order.

And it's funny, as much as he ends up being a bit of a rule breaker, it's almost not intentionally. He wants to always be doing the right thing. He wants that honor. He wants to be the gentleman. He wants to be seen in good standing by the greater society. So he won't do anything to compromise himself, but more so her. And so he holds back because this is not the proper way. So, yes, I do think some of society's pressure is on display here, too.

Oh, but Marina, girl is so calculated in this scene. She plays on his gentlemanly nature. Plays on his need for honor. And pushes hard on his desire. You almost feel bad for how easily Colin cracks. He is very much a 'my wife' guy. Even here with Marina, that tendency is here on display.

The jump to marriage is bonkers quick. Yes -- it is partially fueled by society's restraints on sexual desires. But it's also a romantic fantasy Colin actually wants. He wants a wife. He wants that life. He's just never found that emotional connection to really fuel him to go for it. But he thinks he has that with Marina. He thinks that she wants that life with him, too. And, of course, now that they've been alone and courting, he thinks it is the proper step to take. So he does.

It's sweetly in earnest. And a bit unsure of a proposal. He doesn't doubt his own feelings, but he doesn't know where Marina stands.

When Marina not only says yes but looks ecstatic about the idea, he just lights up. Romantic achievement fulfilled. That almost kiss did make him unsure of things. But now that marriage is on the table. Now that they can have this nice long engagement and a fancy wedding and this idyllic life of love he's always heard about from his mother, he is so, so excited about it. He thinks he's getting everything he's ever wanted.

And... he thinks he's giving her everything she wants. He talks about her deserving a grand wedding. He is (almost hilariously) breathless when he says it'll be wonderful. (There is really a little ten yo girl living Colin's heart, lol)

Unfortunately, Marina's excitement is not for the same reason as his own. She's thrilled that this whole plan has worked as quickly and as swimmingly as she wanted to. And... she didn't even have to sleep with him to get a proposal. Win-win, really.

Oh, Colin... he feels everything so intensely. It's a shame this is a mix of lust and youthful ignorance fueling romantic fantasies that this proposal comes about. And Marina was hoping for all of that. He promises that he'll give her everything she wants, and he does in this moment. It's a shame that what Colin doesn't realize -- it is just a fantasy, and ultimately, not what he wants.

Oh man, that look Marina gives before she turns around. Diabolical. I don't think of her as a villain. I really don't. I think she's a young woman who is desperate and willing to do what she can to ensure her own safety. But she is playing with his heart, and knows it.

Look how giddy he is, oh Colin... Well, they promise not to say anything -- because seriously, probably not a good thing to announce your engagement at your sister's wedding. But Colin's probably going to be sleeping well tonight.

It's interesting -- thinking about how Penelope is currently a little heartbroken while all of this is going on. But, you know, she's had a long time to have to deal with these problems, with the emotions. She is able to handle a lot of these harder emotions and process them better because they've been going on for so long.

I think when the shit hits the fan with Marina, it's going to hurt so much worse in some ways. It's like the opposite of the she fell first, he fell harder trope. He's never had to experience heartbreak on this level before, and it'll feel devastating. It's no wonder he spends all of season 2 spiraling. Huh.

Anyway, on that happy note, we get to move onto episode 6! Which is my favorite Polin episode for Season 1 :)

[As an aside, this episode ends with Daphne and Simon's first time, which -- has a lot of similarities, beats, and dialogue as the Polin mirror scene. But the atmosphere, tone, and even acting are a lot different. Idk - I find it really fascinating. If anyone else does, let me know, and I can do a side by side analysis of it, cause there are some interesting things to dissect there.]

[blushing-in-space]

Deception

-> anakin skywalker

Summary: [Based on Clone Wars; S4 Ep15] As a Jedi Knight, it’s part of your duty to follow the orders of the Jedi Council, no matter how taxing or dangerous the task. You are given a highly classified mission that not only may end in your death but requires complete secrecy from everyone- Even your lover Anakin Skywalker.

Warnings: ANGST, Death, murder, blood, slight gore, loss of loved ones, grieving process. Probably inaccurate use of the force and force healing

-> I looked at the message before me, brows furrowed. No, this couldn’t be right… Would the Jedi Council ask this of me? Something so classified sounds like it should be a mission of a Jedi Master, not a knight like me.

Mace Windu’s face was all the answer I needed. His eyes were slits as he looked down at me, face set seriously. His fellow council members had a similar expression.

“It is of the utmost importance no word spoken here leaves this room. Is that understood, [name]?” Windu repeats to me.

I have no choice but to nod my head. I serve the Galactic Republic, I cannot let my relationships meddle in my duties as a Jedi Knight.

I bowed my head, “Yes, masters. It will be done.”

——

“What’s the big rush?” Anakin smirks as I carry myself hastily down the dimly lit alleyway we always take when returning to the Jedi Temple from the port.

Ahsoka trails behind us both, thankfully oblivious to Anakin’s wandering hands. I did not agree to her being here and had suggested she take the shuttle home, knowing it would be safer for the young padawan. But like her master, Ahsoka was stubborn and determined to join us for the meeting I had lied about. I feared for her safety- I hope she will not be there when the time comes.

I glance over at Anakin, forcing a playful smile to adorn my lips as I would have in normal circumstances. “I’m not rushing. I’m just trying to get to the council meeting on time.”

I ignore Anakin as he rolls his eyes. “I can see it now- another boring debate I’ll sleep through,” he sighs, though his eyes linger on me and I can’t help but notice it.

We fell for each other when we were just padawans, and have remained loving by one another’s side for almost four years. While I was fairly good at hiding stolen looks and the brush of our hands, Anakin on the other hand doesn’t seem to understand the strategy of hiding our relationship.

He struggles more than I do with our relationship. It frustrates him so easily when he cannot pull me into a kiss after not seeing me for weeks, or to just wrap his arm around me as we walk as I can tell he wants to do now. I’ve known from the start about Anakin’s unusually strong emotional side for a Jedi. That is what makes me especially nervous for tonight.

“Luckily I’ll have you to keep my company,” Anakin mutters to me in a quiet and husky tone, his hand reaching to touch the crease of my waist.

I shoot him a look of warning, glancing over at Ahsoka who was just a few steps behind him. He’s lucky she happened to be looking away and had not looked too deeply into his words.

“If it's so boring for you, would you rather them call you in to train younglings?” I look smugly over my shoulder to Anakin, who grimaces at my comment while Ahsoka huffs a light laugh.

“I think you would enjoy that, master,” Ahsoka quips sarcastically as she steps to Anakin’s side, and he scuffs and looks away from his apprentice.

“As I thought.”

I try to keep up a high-spirited mood while with Anakin before my time comes to act. I see Anakin smiling, his lips parted to make another smart-assed comment. I give him a cheeky smile. After tonight I won’t see him again for yet another long week. And I know that week will be devastating for him.

He doesn’t hide anything from me. He’s told me how he held his mother in his arms and watched the life drain from her eyes. I’m aware he fears the same fate will reach another of his loved ones. Every time I leave for a battle I promise to him I’ll be safe and will return safely to his arms. Now I have been gagged by the Jedi Council from telling him the truth of what I must do. The guilt is almost unbearable having to keep such a secret from my own lover.

Anakin’s blue eyes search mine, I feel him wield the force to poke into my mind. I raise a brow at his perceptiveness. Does he know? I shake him, cutting off his access to my mind through the force. I don’t like it when he does that and he knows it. His brows furrow as he feels the loss of our connection, but he does not pry at my barrier. I nod to him in a silent already broken promise that we will talk later.

Our unspoken words distracted me so much that I almost wouldn’t have sensed the blaster shot coming toward me if Ahsoka had not warned me.

I roll to the side, taking cover behind the nearby crates. I whip my head around to see Anakin and Ahsoka have done the same, both of their backs pinned to the crates opposite of me. My blood pumps furiously through my veins. I should have let the shot take me down. The first and undeniable worst part of my mission would already be over.

“Where’d that shot come from?” Ahsoka yells, voice riddled with panic as she looks from me to the roof of an apartment building in the distance.

I show no concern as I peek my head over the crates, catching a glimpse of the bright blinding light of the sniper who had tried to kill me just then. Who I should have let kill me. My heart would be pounding in my chest if it weren’t for the drug I had taken before leaving that would suppress my heartbeat.

I shake off any fear. I won’t die today- I’m following my orders. My duty as a Jedi comes before anything else. Anakin will understand that when I return. I glance over at him and Ahsoka behind the crates opposite of me, and single them to follow my lead. Neither of them questioned my plan for us to split up over on the rooftop.

I feel Anakin trying to push into my mind as I roll behind the next set of crates, another blaster shot barely missing me. I feel his anxiousness about the situation, either for me being in danger or his padawan, I’m not sure. I just feel guilty for what I’m about to put him through.

I climb to the rooftop, keeping my cover as I deflect a shot back at the assassin to not rouse suspicion. I see Anakin has done as I asked him, for once in his life, and spot him heading to flank the shooter. Ahsoka jumps from rooftop to rooftop, taking the back approach to the shooter. I realize my time is running out to start this mission.

Anakin races on the rooftop across from me, taking cover at the same time as I do. He catches my eyes, blue eyes blazing across the darkness of the Coruscant alleyway. He’s going to dart around to get the shooter. I know he is.

“He’s behind the building!” Ahsoka coms to both me and Anakin, and I know this is where I must end this chase.

Anakin’s head whips around to the building across from us, eyes narrowed and his hand goes to grip his saber. I suck in a breath, closing my eyes as I prepare for the pain. I pray to the Maker the blaster-proof vest will be enough to save me from the real threat of death.

I block Anakin completely from my mind before stepping into the wide-open space as a red light hits my chest.

“[name]!” I hear Anakin scream as the assassin's blaster finally hits me, unexpectedly knocking me so far back I fall from the edge of the building and into sudden darkness.

Ahsoka’s heart sinks seeing Master [name] fall from the edge as she rounds the corner. She looks up to see her Master immediately trying to follow [name], attempting to run from his cover but having to soon duck as a blaster shot flies past his face.

“I got her! Go!” Ahsoka called out to Anakin, hiding the fear in her voice as she looked up at him.

Anakin’s eyes widen as he looks down at her, and his face seems to drain of color for a moment. He’s afraid. Ahsoka so rarely sees real fear on her master's face. No matter the battle or injury. His demeanor never falters. His expression is always lax and words smooth, even as he’s faced with danger, but in this moment Ahsoka does not see that familiar bravery in her master now. That is what scares her the most.

She doesn’t watch long enough to notice how Anakin hesitates for far too long before he chases whoever shot [name], she has no time to do anything but rush to the Jedi Knight's side. [name]’s body is completely limp in a pile of boxes and trash, left arm twisted unnaturally. There’s no blood, but a black mark is burned into the knight’s white-robed chest.

Ahsoka pulls [name]’s body from the rumble, panicking when she does not awake. She lifts the knight's head into her lap but freezes her finger above [name’s] neck to check for a pulse. She fears she knows the answer. Ahsoka has watched people die. Despite her age, she’s a commander- she sees death every day. But never someone so close to her. Someone she regarded as a friend. As a sister.

“Master?” Ahsoka whispers as she finally puts her fingers to the soft spot on [name]’s neck. She gulps as she feels nothing, then tries the curve of her wrist. Then feels nothing again. She sucks in a breath as her eyes become glassy at the sight.

Ahsoka hears Anakin drop from the roof and run down to her. “How is she?” He pants, wild blue eyes looking down at them.

Ahsoka can barely move her head to look up at him, and when she does, she nearly lets tears fall. She doesn’t know if she has the words to say it. She knows Anakin and [name] were padawans together. She knows how close the pair are. She only pretends to be blind to her master’s deep attachment to the other Jedi knight for his sake. That’s why she can hardly hold it together when he crouches down to see [name] completely unresponsive.

“[name]?” Anakin says, voice rattling.

Ahsoka doesn’t fight him as he takes [name] from her arms and holds her in his. He brushes her hair away from her face to reveal her eyes closed with death. Ahsoka watches her master's eyes fill with grief as he clutches her body to him.

“[name]!” He yells louder this time, desperately shaking her shoulders. He puts his hands over the black mark on her chest and continuously presses down on it in a failed attempt to start back [names] still heart. Ahsoka can’t look anymore. She can’t watch her master hopelessly revive a dead woman.

Ahsoka stands and runs away when Anakin calls out her name again, tears now falling from his eyes as he stares at his lover's dead body.

He had to hand her body off to the authorities when they arrived. He had to explain what happened all while pretending he didn’t just lose his wife.

The hardest challenge of his life wasn’t fighting Count Dooku or leading the largest battalion in the Republic Military- it was returning to the Jedi Temple with nothing to show for his lover's existence but her blood on his robes and her lightsaber.

[name] was supposed to come to his quarters tonight after the meeting. They hadn’t seen each other in two weeks, each being assigned to different planets, but each immediately returned to the other, as always. His fears of her usually vanish once he is reunited with her after their respective missions. He always assumes she’s safe when she comes home. He’d never thought of the possibility of her dying on his watch.

He wished he could have been with her body longer, but as soon as he saw the flash of red and blue lights he had to wipe his tears and place her body on the stretcher and watch as the medics pulled the sheet over her. Once the door to his quarters hissed shut he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

He sat at the edge of the bed, and unclipped [names] lightsaber from his belt. He ran his flesh hand along the customized hilt and ignited the saber of his lover. He could almost picture her beautiful face behind the [color] glow, a smirk on her lips before she jumped into battle. His eyes filled with tears as he un-ignited it and the color vanished.

It felt like when his mother died all over again. Again, he failed to protect someone. Again, someone he loved died in his arms. The only difference was there was no one he could get revenge on for the needless death. The assassin had retreated like a coward after firing the blaster. Anakin’s not even sure if the assassin killed her instantly. Perhaps it had been the fall that took her life.

Anakin’s heart ached when sleeping alone that night. He had been looking forward to feeling the warmth of [name] beside him since he had first been sent to Krios. Now he’ll never feel [name] again. If he had just got to the assassin in time she’d still be here!

Anakin’s eyes burned with tears of fury. He had no idea who the shooter was but he would hunt the bastard down after [name]’s funeral. To hell with the Jedi Code- revenge was the only way Anakin could bring himself and Eria peace!

Anakin felt himself slipping, but he had no motivation to crawl back toward the light when [name] wasn’t there waiting for him.

Eria thought she had severed her connection to Anakin, but when she finally woke up she felt the overwhelming grief and anger of her husband. It was so strong for a moment she confused it as her own. Those emotions were quickly replaced by the ache in her chest and the pain of her defiantly broken arm.

Her tears were gulped down as the medical droid healed her wounds. The droid asked if she was experiencing emotional pain, and she had to lie and say it was just her arm. All she could think about was when she fell. She heard Anakin’s scream and felt his tears on her as she played dead in his arms. It took every part of her being to not open her eyes and apologize for what she had done.

The door to my medical room hissed open, and I glanced over to see Master Windu and Master Yoda in the white light.

“I hope my funeral went well,” I mutter as the door slides shut behind them.

I see Master Windu’s eyes narrow at me as I quickly cover my emotions and dry my tears. I had been specially chosen for this classified mission out of everyone else in the Jedi Order, and I wanted to act professionally with the Council member who picked me. Especially because Master Windu was known for his intense belief in the Code.

“A great performance, your corpse played,” Master Yoda says.

I well as funeral can go, I want to add, but am silence by the medical droid sticking a numbing substance into my arm. I looked at the deep bruise on my twisted arm and for a moment wondered if this would even work. I was sacrificing so much just to learn information that may not even be true. Will Anakin even forgive me once this is all over?

“Will go well, the plan will,” Yoda says, sensing my doubt.

“I fell from the top of a building- It better go well,” I huff in pain and remove the blasterproof vest that saved my life.

“Survived worse, you have,” Yoda comforts, and though I know the Jedi Elder is right, it doesn’t help much when my back has turned into one massive bruise.

“Young Skywalker knows this,” Windu says in a firm voice, arms crossed and eyes looking down at me. As if testing to see my reaction.

I breathed deeply and held strong. I wanted to beg for them to let him assist me in the mission or ask how he handled the funeral, but most of all, I wanted to beg to just see him. But it was vital to the integrity of the mission that no one knows- Especially Anakin, who would flare up in anger if he knew I would be walking into the role of a bounty hunter and disguising myself among them, armed with nothing but a blaster.

I know that Master Windu is testing me with his words. Though he picked me for this, I was quickly made aware of his doubts in me when he had to clarify Anakin to me in private not even Anakin may know.

“I took the vital suppressors, you instructed of me, Master. When Anakin moved my body… I was dead to him. It’s impossible that he knows I’m alive,” I assure both of them, though it was clear in my tone it weighed heavily on me to do so.

Yoda hummed in agreement, “Yes- but sense he will, that something is not right.”

I wanted to add that Anakin will have no contact with me as I understand how important it is he is left out of this, but a Jedi Healer enters the room and bows his head, interrupting the conversation. The healer comes to my side to mend my broken arm, and I nod to the Jedi Masters.

“Anakin’s reaction sold the sniper of my death. What has been done is done, and I will carry out the mission as has been asked of me,” I say to Windu with no hesitation and my head held high. He seems surprised for a moment but turns to leave.

“What’s done is done,” he repeats as the healer snaps my arm back into place.

The healer seems to also understand this meeting should remain in confidence. He bows, then leaves soon after I am healed. Finally alone, I begrudgingly accepted it was time to put on the masked disguise of the assassin I will be taking the place of.

I reach down to remove my lightsaber from my belt but feel nothing of the familiar grip I built myself. I look down to see its holster empty but find for the first time since my fall, I feel an absence of worry. I let a sad smile curve my lips as I realize who took it.

I know it’s safe with Anakin.

Notes: Part 2 coming soon! I'm sorry this is a little confusing if you've never watched the episode this is based on 😭

[rorydrawsandwrites]

hows it going: a space to talk about whatever you want, if you want

To clarify: you have just given me a Yapping Permit. I will use this irresponsibly and with reckless abandon

Time to talk about Firkász/Scribbles in the Puzzlevision arc 🎉

(Reminder that there is plenty of lore I simply do not know at all, may be forgetting something important I should know at any given moment, and in general just get silly and self-indulgent with it. If I'm missing crucial details though lmk gently)

In all honesty I still have no idea how their acquaintanceship. Starts. Like I could tell you about the middle and the ending (which I will) but when it comes to how these two buffoons would initially get close enough to enable all that comes next my mind just blanks for now. I'm not. Even really sure what Puzzles had been doing before all this. I've guessed he'd been attempting to get famous on his own, no mind control and kidnappings involved yet? But kept failing and being turned down because he "just doesn't have what it takes", amplifying his desperation to prove people wrong

Once fate (a.k.a the meddling of my grubby little hands) does somehow bring them together I can see a sort of connection forming naturally because they're both long-suffering creatives who highly value The Art of it and wish to be recognized for their talents. They could brainstorm a screenplay together like he said he wanted... she could draw out the storyboards... oh the magnificent chaos. They would either love bouncing ideas back and forth or clash constantly because neither are team players and both are very particular about their own vision. But maybe they could compromise eventually

There's also the fact that they're pretty complementary personalities and can also relate to each other on a deeper level than the above but we're not getting into that in this post because it's gonna be long enough as is

Assuming that they do already become at least somewhat involved with each other before the events of the arc, here's some of what I can see happening

The aftermath of the Puzzlevision movie is definitely a turning point in their relationship. After the main crew beats his ass and his TV gets yeeted far far away I imagine she's the one to find him first instead of Mario (or he lands in her backyard, because convenient plot elements are convenient). I can see him being bummed out for a bit, he has every reason to grieve his shattered victory before he picks himself back up with manic enthusiasm and continues his quest for fame, and as she grabs his TV in spite of the glass shards and brings him in from the starting rainfall and inside her home, he questions her loyalty. Why would she still help? After he's been so brutally defeated, humiliated on live broadcast? What could she possibly be hoping to gain from this? And she's like I just care about you, dumbass. You're funny and lively and I wanna match your freak I find you pretty fascinating. I understand what yearning for recognition is like and I wanna help you get somewhere with your self-fulfillment but with a little less attempted murder this time please. And his friendless little mind is just blown but he's like yippee awesome let's get to it

She hopes after all that they could start on a different approach that avoids the SMG4 crew altogether. So anyway his first request is can you smuggle me into the Showgrounds I just wanna talk to them

Wait, so how did she feel about him trapping people in the shows? Welp. Nothing she could do. She was helpless! But she was sooo worried for them all while chewing popcorn on her couch at home watching the streams from her laptop, trust (she's a little bit cold and fucked up too there's just no other way these two could work out, plus she WAS technically helpless to stop him)

Another idea I've had is that... he stalks people, right. He canonically stalked Mario, he'd been watching all of them through screens and shit I think, it's a pretty standard part of his practices. If it's in person I think she would come along. People watcher + wants to supervise him + it's technically hanging out, her only qualm is the fear of getting caught. Girl why are your morals so lax about stalking. What is wrong with you. You're lucky your boyfriend makes you look like an angel in comparison

(Him frantically taking notes on Mario's source of the funni behind a bush + her getting bored two minutes in and just sketching the neighboring house or something until he's done. Parallel play <3)

Honestly her presence overall changes little to nothing in the story. Adds some things but the outcome of each mini-arc is the same. And I don't think it necessarily diminishes the Leggy friendship either, because having Two people you're bonded with after a lifetime of loneliness is indeed twice the amount of One, but it's still. Not a lot. That loss is still gonna fuck him up and make him worse (which also makes things worse for Firkász as a target of codependence, but more on such psychological burdens later)

Anyway something sillier I thought of is when Pedro is created she immediately assumes a parental role for no reason. She is a mom now & that is her son. And Puzzles is the dad, even though he vehemently denies this. "Don't talk to your son that way" "I'm not a father damn it" "but you created him" "yes but that doesn't make me-" and then Pedro starts looking all sad in a meme-y way. Do not deny your son Puzzles. Hesitantly he accepts the title if only to keep his minion cooperative

When Mario and Pedro have the meme-off she's in the audience cheering. Emotional support. Then Pedro loses but starts hanging out with Mario and finding himself, away from his deadbeat dad who only wanted to use him for views. I think it'd be really funny if he kept in touch with Firkász afterward but not Puzzles. One day her phone starts ringing during a conversation and she'll casually check it like "oh it's sonny boy Pedro" and while she goes to answer it he's just like "what"

Eventually she would also start suspecting that Puzzles might be homeless. He swings by her place often yet she's never seen his, he does all his villainous business in these abandoned buildings, and he's not really working or earning money? So she eventually asks "by the way where do you live" and after a series of unsatisfactory answers she's like "oh my god. just move in with me"

Then again is it really moving in if he's already hanging around like half the time. He can just come and go through television I guess. If she had one

But also I wasn't kidding when I offhandedly mentioned in that tag that she would ditch him for making brainrot. Look he's not proud of himself either but he swears up and down it's gonna bring the success he's been waiting for and still she's having none of it. Because that's just disgusting. Brainrot. For children. Mr Puzzles why are you trying to exploit children. And what of the artistic integrity. They argue and lucky for her he actually takes the initiative to leave with a suitcase (which is odd because did he even bring anything with him. is it just an empty prop for dramatic effect. has he taken things from her house), proclaiming loudly that he's going to be the most successful creator ever and when he's finally as rich and famous as he deserves she'll be knocking at the door of his mansion begging for him to have her by his side, just she waits-

An amount of days later she finds him on her doorstep, teary-eyed and dejected. She saw all the callout videos and streams. She knows exactly what happened

Now there are multiple ways the Puzzle Park conundrum could go, each slightly varying in the amount of angst that follows. The simplest one is the cop-out where, coincidentally, during the entire Didney takeover and the SMG4 crew's entrapment Firkász just so happens to be Somewhere Else. Like while no one way paying attention she went to visit family or something. Blissfully unaware until return. It would be of course hilarious that she just casually misses colossal events like that, but besides that he could even take offense to it

"I FINALLY made the most GLORIOUS THEME PARK and you didn't even SEE IT" "I'm sorry I was in Budapest. Anyway what the FUCK Puzzles"

The other and less pleasant alternative is her not sneaking a trip abroad and sticking around for the entire thing, which is bad because while she loves stepping as far aside as allowed when heinous things happen and then washing her hands, or maybe at this point she's even disturbed and concerned and afraid enough to want to cut him off, he won't let it happen. Making him care for her was her second mistake. (Caring herself was the first.) Now he's unwilling to lose her, and he possesses significant power with which he can make her submit. She's faced with the choice of either shutting up obediently, or being brainwashed along with the crew. He won't hurt her or, God forbid, torture her, oh no, he would never do something so horrible to his lovely Scribbles. But her personal autonomy is, for the moment, entirely negligible

If she's brainwashed and controlled, well, that's just utterly violating and something she'd have a very hard time forgiving. Girl what did you expect, he's the Brainwashes And Controls People Guy, you saw that red flag and you made a cozy little blindfold out of it. Coupled with the fact that she'd be the singular person to ever visit him in containment that means a lotta screaming, feeling wretched, then doing it again next week. Perhaps she'd stop coming one day, because she could no longer find more affection in herself than resentment to scrape out during those few hours, but it would eat her alive. Besides it would be dangerous... what if he breaks out somehow. What if she's never safe. Buuut that went a bit too serious and scary and we gotta stay silly here so on to the next option-

(Before we move on I think brainwashed Scribs would be dressed up very fancy and showy, like a magician's assistant. In a bold royal purple and sparkling gold perhaps. She'd perch elegantly on top of a TV, legs crossed, sneering at the bumbling contestants)

If she's taken but allowed her consciousness, I have fondly imagined that she gets the dubious honor of staying with him, physically speaking, inside the engine room... just imagine the feeling. Stuck in direct proximity of such a colossal mechanical being that's hanging from cables upon cables, huge screens surrounding you overlooking the park. I think it's pretty epic, if you aren't busy being terrified. Hey Scribbles didn't you want hands-on inspiration for your next novella anyway, maybe it could be tech horror-

This way she can witness all the fun challenges while still within a safe and agreeable proximity. Besides I don't think he would've ever intended a more physical role for her in the management of the park anyhow. She's more like arm candy or something... in this case for his enjoyment only ;)

Now as for Puzzles' defeat I've been tempted to not tamper with that either. It would certainly be less hassle, plus I don't know why, unlike the shameless self-indulgence of my AUs, when it comes to OC insertion I just get... shy to upset the status quo and the natural flow of events. Feels like a transgression unless based on extremely good reasoning. For the record I won't come into your house and steal all your cheese if you do it, by all means live out your Mary Sue dreams, comrades; this is mainly me being strict with myself. With Puzzles and M(L)eggy I don't wanna take away from the significance of their shared arc, albeit in the case of Firkász here being built up as an important companion suchly, I feel like either of them could reasonably do the deed. There may be a world where a conscious Firkász, already at prime proximity, decides to save the trio from a death struggle by going inside his head in an act of betrayal. But that's juuust a theory! /ref

Small side note, I feel like Leggy appearing to Child Puzzles in his mindscape did more harm than good anyway... since it only cemented his obsession with the little nugget. And whatever "power of friendship" lesson he's "learned" is pretty diminished by the fact that his crimes and mental instability have landed him a likely lifelong spot in solitary confinement. (Some people say he might come back, I fear for that possibility but also, slay king, we love to have you.) And besides I don't think he even learned a damn thing. His obsessive tendencies are just focused on his Companion Cube now

That leads me into my final point, the post-canon alterations... oh how much more comfortable it is, to meddle with a part of the timeline that has yet to be clearly paved against your intentions. There is soft and bountiful soil here, albeit radioactive

Picture this. You're Scribbles. Your boyfriend is in extremely high security prison and batshit insane. He's still your boyfriend. He has literally no one else. Of course you're gonna be visiting him

The first time she comes in she's horrified to see that they tied him to the bed. Untie him. Untie him right now what the hell were you all thinking. She'll formally request it if she must, yes she knows what he did but this is just inhumane. Twenthy layers of concrete bricks and metal are more than enough to keep him in there. He has rights too goddamnit

Side note do you think they did that because he could also be considered a threat to himself. Well whoops

I mean I guess how much he's restrained would still be conditional on his behavior so as a compromise what if it varied. Scribbles returns after a week and he's inexplicably in a straitjacket now, greeting her all innocently like "honeyyy hiiii :))" and she's all "what the hell did you do this time". He proceeds to explain that he didn't DO anything it's just that when he snapped at the psychatrist and threatened to rip out her spine then crush each vertebra individually before her eyes she didn't take it as a joke

It's evident from Leggy 2.0's existence that after the canon events he gets even more obsessive, if that's even possible, of his perceived connections so you may expect historical magnitudes of codependence here... I mean the power dynamics have been flipped and at any point she could just walk away forever and leave him to rot... so initially he'll have a hard time letting Scribbles go for the day (which is honestly understandable as he's in solitary confinement). When she must depart and he almost rips the cell door off its hinges she commissions a plushie of herself so he has something to remind him of her when she's away. Naturally he talks to it all the time. Leggy Rock and Scribbles Stuffie are buddies

Now she's not a mental health professional... I don't know if they would actually bother assigning him a therapist... I think that therapist would also need a therapist. Or maybe he's a group effort. Either way she'd come up with little crafty activities they can do together other than talking, using what she's allowed to bring in his cell. Paper... crayons I think... bro isn't even trusted with a pen. But drawing is a fun one regardless of your utensils. Origami... I feel like that would activate his perfectionism but once he gets a paper flower right he's so proud of himself and sticks it in her hair and she looks so pretty with it wow. I saw a video on Insta where the OP had a "clay date" with her boyfriend and they made little clay figures of animals and that's so cute too. Imagine the various paper and clay creations piling up on his nightstand over the months. A warm and friendly sight in the otherwise sterile room

A less wholesome opportunity is him recreating his enemies as little clay effigies and squeezing them to death. No Puzzles don't do that. Bad television

Funnily enough, though it can be exhausting to deal with, there are things Firkász would enjoy about this turn of events. He's a talkative fellow at heart and while he might love the sound of his own voice it's mostly all he hears, so when she decides to be the one to rant or rave about what's on her mind, he listens to her. And that feels... nice. Formerly he was so consumed by his plotting that she'd stopped feeling like she ever truly had his attention. When she visits now their time together is just about the two of them (after he accepts she's not going to break him out) and she's gushing about her new idea for a storyboarded sequence or she's describing the world of a novel never to be made or she's showing him her sketchbook or she's complaining about the shit day she had at work and he adds his own commentary to it but he's hearing her out and his eyes aren't on anyone or anything else. You know. Feels a lot like getting back someone you loved

Do I think he would eventually be released in light of her positive influence on his mental health? Hmm... dubious. I would definitely enjoy a redemption arc for him but as a part of that he's gotta stay out of the SMG4 crew's business. They owe him no forgiveness after all that

It would give way to amusing interactions of course if Firkász had made good acquaintaces with them in the meantime so as a result they and Puzzles have to sort of... tolerate each other sometimes... Meggy would probably like seeing his improvement but also at a distance, for now... it's kinda weird for them isn't it, because they both only liked each other when she was turned into the equivalent of a toddler

Anyway all of the above was really just a lengthy excuse to give Scribbles scary dog privileges. Yes I said it. Pretty sure many people would remember or have heard of the threat this man was and even if they don't know, just look at him. Look at that face. Does this face make you feel safe

Well it shouldn't

Touch his morality chain and there's a nonzero chance you'll be begging him to release you from the mortal coil by 2PM. He may be trying his best, but old habits die hard... and you'll die harder :)

...I don't mean it that way. Head out of the gutter. Please

Is any of that healthy for a relationship? Well uhh erm... hmm... ah. Oh well. Anyway

This concludes my ramble about the little bitch that lives in my mind since four days ago and the clinically insane television man I'm tacking her onto like a sticky hand. It has been three days of jotting down and editing the lore and all of this may be stupid but fuck it we ball (gotta keep killing cringe culture). Nonetheless I'm looking forward to taking -2 psychic damage every time I remember writing any part of this ✌️sayonara

[animeyanderelover]

I was so excited that I stayed up for this.

May I request hcs of ryuken (I have a slight obession of this man.) with a judge darling who over works themself to the point of passing out. Like they go to work earlier and come home later than him. And they leave the hospital going against medical orders and say to the nurse " Tell doctor Ishida that I am leaving since I have a hearing in 2 hours, if he wants to see me he can see me at home. " Thank you

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, paranoia, controlling behavior

Judge darling who overworks themselves

◻️It truly is the definition of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. Truly, if you wouldn't push yourself so much Ryuken could admire this all a bit more. After all he appreciates your hard work and your respectable job. After all both of you have jobs where you essentially hold control over someone else's life and Ryuken wants to admire that. But he just can't do that with the way you constantly go against the medical orders he places upon you. Your partner has a tendency to be a bit more controlling, especially since he is a doctor and the director of the hospital in this town. So of course he would react very sensitive when he finds out that you overwork yourself to the point where you skip sleep and faint due to exhaustion and a lack of proper nutritions. You can protest and claim to know the limits of your body all you want but you aren't the medic in this relationship. He is and so he knows best.

◻️This topic is sure to spark a lot of discussions and arguments between the two of you. You are extremely stubborn and refuse to listen to Ryuken whilst he just ends up belittling you for your attitude. You're acting like a little child in his eyes right now, one that doesn't know when to stop. He thought that you would know better than that but apparently he was wrong. Those arguments never end in a shouting match though because both of you think that you're above screaming at each other from the top of your lungs. Instead there are sharp glares thrown at each other, words dripping with sarcasm fired at each other and constant belittlements directed at each other. Ryuken would rather not spend so much time arguing and destroying the domestic bliss but you give him no choice. He won't back down and watch you ruin your health.

◻️He tries to approach this all logically for a while in hopes of reasoning with you. So he explains to you that if you were one day to seriously suffer from the constant days and nights of overworking yourself, you wouldn't be able to help all your clients and bring justice upon the court. Can't you see that your reckless behavior is also harming other people? If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for your clients who need you in your best condition. Or do it for him, your husband who is very worried about your health. Even as he tells you this argument, he can't hide the sharp edge in his voice completely. He considers himself a patient man but even he is slowly losing his patience here because both of you have been quarreling like this for way too long now. And you still refuse to listen to the his advice. The advice of your husband and an actual doctor.

◻️Ryuken finally reaches a limit when he finds out that you constantly leave the hospital and go against medical orders despite having fainted prior to being brought there. He will absolutely not tolerate such neglectful behavior for one's own health. Fine. If you refuse to properly take care of yourself, he will have to take some measurements then. He starts meddling with your job as he talks to people you work with to bring them on his side and convince you to take a few steps back and relax from your constant work. He starts taking this matter more to the public and even if he dislikes sharing what is privately happening between you two normally, this is for your own good. He plans to make people aware of what you're doing and uses his influence as an actual doctor to strengthen their belief to trust his words that you need to slow down or else you might suffer serious consequences later on in your life.

◻️You hear words from your concerned colleagues soon after and storm angrily to Ryuken who calmly stands there and listens to your furious rant. He rebukes you for your accusations though as he explains to you that he only informed people about this because apparents his own words as your lover and doctor weren't enough. You really are too reckless for your own good but he won't allow anything to happen to you just because you are too stubborn to just sit down and rest for a while. You are worse than he is and that is already an achievement in itself. He additionally scolds you for leaving the hospital despite the medical orders for you to just spend a day or two there and rest. Are you even aware of the risks? Next time you will head the advice he gives you as your doctor.

◻️Ryuken is definitely persistent and you feel his influence in the people around you who try to encourage you to work less and take more breaks. This only adds gasoline to the flames and obviously you try to work even more as a protest. Only that you soon find out that Ryuken has stepped his own game up. He stays longer awake himself to catch you before you can leave for work again and when you scold him for getting too little sleep he quickly points out the sheer hypocrisy in your words as you have been doing the very same thing even longer than he has and even locks the door to the bedroom to prevent you from leaving. He uses the same strategy whenever you end up once again in the hospital as he makes sure to lock the door that would allow you to leave the room and tries to take as much time to stay with you in the same room to ensure that you take proper rest. As soon as you start an argument with him, you just receive this cold glare from him. You got yourself in this situation. If you would have just listened to him, none of this would have to happen. But he'll keep on playing this game you try to play until you learn your lesson.

[the-other-art-blog]

Benophie wish list: Side plots

There's no way around it, Bridgerton has left only 15-18% of the total screen time to the main couple according to these graphs from tw. Individual screen time for the main characters changes, but this is an ensemble. Side plots took almost 50% of the total s3 screen time.

So, we're going to have side plots whether we want them or not, and frankly, they're necessary. Side plots ensure that the audience comes back season after season. I, for example, wouldn't have come back just for Kanthony or Polin if Benedict weren't in the mix.

Eloise (set up for s5)

I bet we will know what Eloise learned about the world during her visit to Scotland. Plus, I'm pretty sure Sophie will be her maid, which will open her eyes to a new social class: servants. Sophie will open her eyes to different views on marriage. For her, marriage is freedom. If El is s5, she needs to understand that marriage is a wonderful and exciting thing if you're with the right person (aka Philip Crane).

Sophie's witty personality and sass are perfect to counter Eloise. I think both women will enjoy the challenge and thrive because of it.

Frannie, John and Michaela

I think they will show the infertility storyline now so that by the time John dies there will be a son or Michaela will be able to inherit the title. I also hope they show Michaela being the biggest flirt and rake. What if she meets Ben at one of the parties! I'll talk more about Fran and Ben later.

The Battle of the Maids

Probably one of the funniest side plots for the matriarchs + more scenes about servants. In the book, Araminta steals maids and fights with confrontations with Portia and Violet about it. This would be a chance to bring back Polly Walker for a cameo + Lady D and maybe the Queen! It plays into the main story because that is how the Bridgertons have an opening for Sophie. Plus, the show has referenced a similar problem: in s2 Portia accuses Lady Cowper of stealing a maid, then in s3 when Lord Remington tells Pen that a Lady stole the host's housekeeper and that's why she didn't get invited to that ball.

Polin/LW

Jess already mentioned there's still a story to tell with Lady Whistledown. Now that Pen is no longer hiding, it would be interesting to see if the column retains its success. The allure to LW was her anonymity because she seemed impartial and therefore reliable. But if a Bridgerton is writing, how are people supposed to believe her? I wonder if this will play into Benophie. LW was very kind to Sophie, she never put in doubt Violet's story and always wrote good things about her. But, who is going to believe Pen's word when she tries to defend Sophie. Of course, she's going to do it, she's a Bridgerton. Moreover, her status as a wallflower allowed her to recollect information by hearing gossip or watching, but now that everyone knows who she is, they will be careful not to say anything near her. Or, they will try to manipulate her to spread false gossip.

Violet and Marcus

I think this will continue in Benophie season. I don't know if this will distract her from noticing that Ben is flirting with a maid or if it will make her ship Benophie even more. I plan to write a separate post on Violet and Ben's relationship. Her romance will make her want romance for her children even more and Ben already stated that Violet is obsessed with epic love stories.

The Queen

I don't know what they can do with her. The sparkler storyline was so stupid, but she was ok in part 2. I was hoping for the queen to be furious at Bridgerton because once again her match didn't work. But she seemed fine. Although, now that LW is out she's going to remember that the Bridgetrons always ignore her. Either she wants to meddle in Benedict's business or she completely ignores the family, which makes Violet nervous. Maybe they are falling out of grace with QC, and this makes Benophie story even more scandalous.

I know there's the theory that Sophie may be an illegitimate granddaughter of the queen. We'll see.

I do want QC to have something to do, even if it's just at the end of the season. I really want a scene between Benedict and QC, if only because Golda loves Luke T.

The Mondriches

Jess said that the show will continue to explore the friendship between Benedict and Will. So, maybe they help him realize how much Sophie means to him and that the sacrifice is worth it. I suppose they will continue hosting balls and being part of society.

Kanthony

I don't think they will have more than a cameo, tbh. Maybe they'll be there at the Masquerade and Benophie's wedding if there is a wedding. But Simone and Johny are too successful now, they won't have much time. I will also write more about Ben and Anthony in another post, but I hope we have a chance to revisit Sienna and show Anthony being concerned about his brother. I wrote a little scene in AO3 about it.

All of these side plots can be related to Benophie giving other characters their screen time while also focusing on the main couple.

Who shouldn't come back:

The Featherington sisters

They're done, they did well this season, and they had their redemption arc.

But there's no space for them! These are 8 sideplots!

Cressida

I used to like the theory where the Cowpers were Sophie's family but after s3, I want her out for good. Instead of showing remorse for her bullying, she indulged in self-pity for 8 episodes. And the worst part is that people bought it. At least book!Cressida was a bitch and she owned it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts about it!

[davekat-sucks]

Since we’re talking Kanaya, the fandom forgets how much she was Jade’s counterpart to the Sgrub session. Her house literally was built to look like a moon tower of prospit/derse, like Jade. She takes gardening, like Jade, and she lives right next to a frog temple, like Jade! She does diverge from Jade taking an interest in hunting the undead and rainbowdrinker romance novels, which the fandom seems to forget because much of Kanaya’s story gets tied to romance! She was the last landdwelling troll introduced in Act 5 Act 1 and she starts of as the “meddling fussyfangs” as described by Vriska!

Her character introduction is losing her flushed interest with Vriska but still pining for her so she vacillates Eridan and Vriska’s kismesitude after Vriska mind-controlled Tavros to kiss her and Eridan broke his moirailigence with Feferi. Her only interaction in Act 4 is talking with Rose (and mistakenly one time with John who was on Rose’s computer) and that settled the dust, Kanaya bounces from one romance to another until she landed on Rose, and she had enough superficial traits and prose to her serious-straightforward-clear-intentions attitude that was flanderized in the progressing acts.

Fans still forget Kanaya’s “impromptutations” quip she gave to Karkat, in fact people forget how much Karkat worked out her love issues at the end of Act 5 Act 1 and some of Act 5 Act 2.

I don’t ship Karkat/Kanaya as flushed, but there is appeal to the dynamic since Karkat is the one person who, despite being all shouty, doesn’t ask of anything from Kanaya, and listens to her issues. It also correlates that Karkat’s refusal to engage with Rose’s troubling behavior and alcoholism that damages her flushed pairing with Kanaya and Terezi’s pitch romp with Gamzee after (possibly) dating Dave for a short period of time. It goes to show even after Karkat’s shipping concerns and fear of inter-species connections was overblown, he is a crux to hold the meteor together.

Back to Karkat’s shipping, we know he drew Jade with Dave and Rose with John, but didn’t account Rose being into women. As it turned out Rise may have had a subconscious Freudian bullshit crush on Jade, since Rose hooks up with Sgrub’s version of Jade Harley, and when Jade needs to surrogate a child. In secret. With a married woman… Rose doesn’t seem to refuse. Maybe, just maybe it’s because Rose does still want that smart, cheery, independent girl she knew all those years.

To summarize, if Kanaya is to be a good character with depth and realism, keep her close to Karkat. If you want Rose to stay monogamous (in the specific way she isn’t seeing a secret lover) keep her FAR AWAY FROM JADE HARLEY and if you want Rosemary to work as a ship, KEEP KARKAT AS CLOSE TO KANAYA AT ALL TIMES.

Don't forget that John had to remind Karkat about them being made in ectobiology and that incest was a taboo in human standards, much to Karkat's annoyance since incest is fine on Alternia. He had considered shipping DaveRose and JohnJade. Karkat and Kanaya are also close also parallels to The Dolorosa and The Signless relationship. The Dolorosa raised The Signless/Sufferer, but sadly had to watch him be executed and be sold off as a slave. Only to die later by Dualscar's jealousy. Karkat being able to save Kanaya from grief and pain would give a good closure for their ancestry.

[hlficlibrary]

✤ Crime Fics ✤

A series of posts with the top five fics of each category by kudos plus five more hidden gems from that category! Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find our other recs here.

- Top 5 H/L Fics -

1️⃣ my heart, in deadly rhythm by orphan_account (M, 42k)

There exists somewhere a very, very small list containing the names of people who don’t want Louis Tomlinson dead. Harry Styles may or may not be one of those people.

(or a Spies!AU in which Liam is the Wade to Louis' Kim Possible, Zayn seduces people for intel, Niall is an expert at blowing things up, and Harry is more than a bit famous in his particular field... or infamous, actually. And Louis? Well, Louis just wishes people would quit trying so bloody hard to kill him all the time.)

2️⃣ A Rose, By Any Other Name by iwillpaintasongforlou / @canonlarry (E, 10k)

“I don’t understand, Mr. Tomlinson,” Harry says quietly.

“You don’t have to understand, sweetheart.” Louis reaches over and runs his thumb across Harry’s cheekbone, watching the boy’s breathing pause as he dares not move beneath the touch of this strange, imposing man. “All you need to know is that you work for me now, and that I’m going to keep you safe from all the bad people in this city, you hear?”

Louis Tomlinson is the head of New York City's mafia, and Harry is the beautiful boy from Texas who falls in with the wrong crowd (which turns out to be the right crowd).

3️⃣ Little Cub by aace1234 (NR, 68k)

Harry is head of the underground, he's ruthless, possessive, feared and powerful.

Louis is a student, his dad works for Harry but Louis has no idea about the underground world.

What happens when Louis Dad causes trouble and Harry kidnaps Louis for revenge.

4️⃣ we've got the world in our hands by sarcasticfluentry (E, 54k)

A mutants/superpowers AU. Louis and his friends attend the Cowell Institute for General Education and Mutant Training in London; when Louis meets Harry, the newest student at the Cowell Institute, he immediately recruits Harry to help play matchmaker for his friend Zayn. Harry and Louis are so caught up in meddling in Zayn's love life, though, that they don't notice that their own friendship is progressing into something more. Meanwhile, an ominous threat up north grows slowly until suddenly, no mutant - or human - is safe.

5️⃣ Watch Him As He Goes by LoadedGunn (M, 14k)

It's why Harry loves assignments with Louis; they're thrilling in a way. It's like he never rests. He's this animated, gorgeous guy who's all over the place and Harry actually has to work hard just to catch up to him.

It kind of reminds him of trying to stalk a predator stalking its prey, with his old 70-300 mm lens. Only the predator is a cheeky arsehole. "Come along Harold, I know you usually wait for your zebras to pose for you but here you've got to think on your feet," Louis yelled one time, before disappearing to interview Detective Payne. Never mind the fact Harry was slow in the first place because of Louis' tight jeans.

Or, the AU where Louis' the best police reporter in the country, Harry's the new photographer who is more used to penguins than human subjects, and also there are superheroes.

HIDDEN GEMS:

💎 this charade (was never going to last) by @scrunchyharry (E, 68k)

On the surface, CitizenX, an international caritative nonprofit, looked like any other nonprofit, funding humanitarian missions worldwide and striving to make the world a better place, one donation at a time.

At least, that was what Harry thought, until he was hired as a computer specialist for a spinoff agency called carish, whose true purpose was to reveal CitizenX’s tangled web of lies.

As if the whole ‘industrial spy’ business was not stressful enough, Harry found himself in a hatred-at-first-sight relationship with one of his new coworkers, Louis, a man intent on detesting Harry.

When the worst happened and Harry and Louis found themselves thrown together in hiding, with only each other to rely on, Harry never could have predicted the turn their relationship would take.

Nor could he anticipate that it would all be taken away from him and he would have to decide how far he was willing to go to get Louis back.

💎 All My Roads Lead to You by @dandelionfairies (M, 41k)

Harry’s stuck in a life he didn’t choose after leaving home at eighteen. Bartending and running drugs were never on his list. Louis is an undercover cop sent in to figure out exactly what’s going on inside of the bar. Neither could have known they’d be drawn to each other.

It’s obvious to Louis that Harry isn’t aware of everything that happens in the backroom. It’s obvious that Nick [Grimshaw] has used Harry’s vulnerability, insecurities, and naivety to keep the man exactly where he wants him.

Harry has never admitted to anyone who he is. They wouldn’t accept him. In fact, he has no doubt that if anyone found out he’s gay, he’d be dead. He doesn’t want to let that wall down for Louis. Because no one can know. But that’s easier said than done. Louis is everything Harry could have ever pictured.

💎 Cowboy Like Me by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings (M, 29k)

Going legit and starting over in a small town was supposed to solve all of Harry’s problems. That was until a string of robberies in wealthy towns brings him face-to-face with his rouge ex-partner and their dicey, unresolved past.

💎 Tonight's the Night by @jaerie (E, 24k)

Tonight’s the night. The night Harry has been waiting for. Everything has been carefully planned, nothing left to chance, the scene set and waiting for their arrival. It’s time.

Harry lives a double life. During the day he's Harry- trusty blood spatter analyst, at night his darkness comes out to play. So far he's been able to act his way through a normal life without drawing attention. What happens when that is no longer the case?

Or a Dexter AU where Harry is Dexter, Liam is Doakes, Niall is Masuka and Gemma is Deb.

💎 Harry, That Kills People by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup (T, 2k)

If there’s one thing that Harry hates, it’s getting his clothes dirty.

If there’s one other thing that Harry hates, it’s murder.

Unfortunately, right here and right now, Harry’s clothes are dirty, and he’s murdered someone. So. It’s not a great day.

“Ugh,” says Harry. “Yeargh. Bleh.”

[patchesofuniverse]

I found this in my drafts - I wrote it after I finished Leverage: Redemption S1 and then most of the original series. Posting it now with the caveat that I never got around to watching the rest of Leverage: Redemption so I do not know what happened from there.

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It still amazes me that people who've lived through

- Sherlock, where the creators outright deny that their two male leads could ever get together, while throwing out constant M/M fanservice.

- FIFTEEN seasons of Supernatural, where women can't survive for very long because they'd threaten the fan-preferred M/M pairings, and one of the actors for the pairing straight up denies that his character could even be gay, shot down questions about it, and finally just "didn't want to put him in a box" following an outcry near the very end of the series.

- She-who-shall-not-be-named, who never so much as hinted that any character might not be straight, but then declared one gay when the series was basically done.

- and however many more queerbaiting shows

can look at Leverage and think the creators are trying to pull one over on us.

- "That means I would be thinking about you and Parker, which I never do!" in the least convincing tone, after lamenting the suave thief Parker is out with that night.

- Watching them kiss and nodding

- "'til my dying day" and "but you never, never need anything" "Yeah, I did" looks over at Parker and Hardison for a moment before looking back "And thanks to you, I don’t have to search anymore."

- Confirmation from the creator that the OT3 is canon.

- "Even numbers only baby" and "Age of the geek, babe"

- The hints in the show (Hardison being aware of how Eliot wakes up, "we built vents in the house", etc) and then confirmation that the three of them live together.

- The necklaces

- Hardison talks to Eliot AND Parker before making the decision to step away from the team. Parker's scene is more dramatic, sure - but Hardison checks in with Eliot too, and Eliot confirms his support before Parker drags Hardison off for their chat.

They haven't given us a kiss or the exact words, sure. Polyamory still isn't widely accepted in the US - it's very possible that they can't give us a big flashy display on screen because of executive meddling, or just that they have to consider ratings.

But what they've given us is in line with the characters they've created. They also never make it into a joke, aside from Hardison's "We're together" bit in The 12 Steps Job (which was season one). They don't make flashy fanservice out of scenes with Hardison and Eliot together, or with the three of them.

The Leverage PTB haven't queerbaited us with the OT3. They queercoded them. And then confirmed that they intended the things we saw on screen.

Part of me wonders if the idea that the OT3 are queerbait is the fact that Eliot's relationship with Hardison and Parker is more subdued than their relationship with each other. I think there may be folks who want to see them as a perfect, exclusive triangle where they all share the exact same relationship style. But that's not how polyamorous relationships have to work - and indeed, it's not how most of them work. Parker and Eliot have always had a different kind of relationship than Parker and Hardison. It's not unreasonable to think that, even in a committed romantic threesome, the three sides of the triangle would represent different types of relationships.